Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Nothing To Do With Perfume

I collect perfume. And shoes. Except not lately. But now what I do have is organized. The floozy perfume that I thought was great last year...trash. I love me some Ed Hardy. Have several of his flavors. Keeping those.

How long does it last? I have no idea. Some of them last many moons, some really do turn into toilet water with a little time. Until the shit stinks, I am wearing it.

I have been going through things. I call it "after spring cleaning". It's really "cleaning whenever I feel like it."

I have also been running to get fit for a race. A race I am afraid of because there is mud. Not really. Really mud. Not really afraid.

And working. A lot. Making money...not so much. It will show up, because the trees have blossomed and soon thereafter comes the fruit. What? Money doesn't grow on trees? Now you tell me. Drat.

The one thing that happened...I got older. Things fall apart...or off. Not in any particular order. I'm paying attention to what I eat and reading a lot about healthy choices and food. I believe we should not deprive ourselves, but also eat in moderation. Sometimes my idea of moderation is supersized and that just brings butt fat. Not a good idea. So grab some will power and join along with me.

I'm going to share some poor man's choices on healthy living. When I say poor...I mean almost homeless. Upper poor can afford equipment. I call it Fargo Fitness. You need to eat like a fighter and train like one. Get off the couch. I did. It was difficult and I didn't do it during Longmire, but just do it.

1) You don' t need a gym. You don' t need weights. Use your body weight to get fit. Use your school track. Use your neighborhood streets. Run stairs. Take a sledge hammer to a tire in your yard. If you don't have a sledge hammer, pick up something heavy. Move a stack of hay for a farmer. Punch a sand bag. Carry a sand bag. Put rocks in a backpack and run with it. Do lunges. Pushups. Sprints. Long runs. Long brisk walks. Squats. Burpees. The list goes on.

2) Stay away from process foods. Hormone injected anything, especially teenagers. They give them shots. I swear.

3) Substitute HONEY for sugar and then half of it. Not the human form.  And not the hooker variety. Because Honey and Sugar are hooker names. The sticky stuff. Ok. Anyway the stuff bees leave behind. Not from their behind. But...you know. But don't put that stuff in your coffee or tea. Drink it like a cowboy and stop being a sissy la-la.

4) Need a peanut butter sandwich? NOOOOO. Bad chemicals. Wheat problems. Substitute celery for the bread and slather on some peanut butter to those little crunchy sticks. You did it for your kids when they were little. Don't be a weenie. Don't eat weenies either. They are over processed and handled wrong. Shut it.

5) Free range eggs. Do you know how many farmers in my area that give away free eggs? Like a gazillion. Except the Amish store.  And the local meat market. They have really good eggs because they charge a lot. Befriend a farmer's wife that doesn't sell her eggs. Especially at one of those banks.

6) Love steak? Eat 4 oz. instead of 8 oz. and put a little organic coconut oil in the pan. Just do it. Then put some seasoning on it...like a rub...Lawry's ...or whatever. Then when it is medium rare-duh no other way-cut it up and eat with raw hot ground horseradish. Num num. (Also when you buy a bigger steak and cut it into three 4 oz. pieces. It's cheaper.)

7) Drink a lot of water because it's good for you and invest in a filter or buy bottled water. I just got my water test back and it swears it won't kill me, but the city likes lead and iron. And says it's nothing to worry about. That's what Obama said about the IRS scandal. Kidding. Well, I don't know. He might have said that. Isn't he in hot water over that one? Anywaves, this is THE one thing you should be careful about putting in your body. I can buy 5 gallon jugs for $3.00. Or I can buy a filter jug for $49.99 and use the tap water. I'll let you know which one is best after I find out which type kills me. I've had the filtered jug thingy for about 8 months.

8) Go without sweets for 2 weeks. Then you won't need them. Forever. If you need something sweet, then don't go crazy and eat one bite of something. I just have to stay away.

9) NO energy? Try this. Spinach greens. Splash of iceberg lettuce. Romaine lettuce. Feta cheese or blue cheese crumble in moderation. ( Don't get crazy, Fatty) Craisins. Chopped walnuts or pecans or almond slices. Carrots, diced. Peppers-all colors. Mushrooms. Onions. Red raspberry vinaigrette. If you can't find a healthy vinaigrette. Make your own. Google it. Who do I look like, Martha Stewart?

10) Do some activity. Hobby. Family or no family. Kids or no kids. Animals or no animals. And this is clean stuff here.

11)Read. Even you visual people. It's good for the mind.

12)Love yourself. No one else is going to do it.

13)Water your plants. We need oxygen.

14)Throw away your vitamins. They are junk. Use natural food. Use natural herbs. herb capsules, or herbal extracts. Read your vitamins. You would be scared what they are putting in there. And calcium is not calcium. You need the good stuff. This is something to save for and if you don't have the money, buy nothing. Because nothing is better than cheap and bad. Go pick some herbs from a friend's garden. Am I super smart. No! This has been reaffirmed to me by my great doctor and another nutritional expert. Word. When I sat down with them on different days...I was scared because of what I DIDN'T know out there on the market of vitamins. Cheap is bad.

15) I will never turn into a vegetarian. I will never stop eating real butter. Why? Because we were made that way. I'm just going to be smart about it. You can overdo everything. And the butter thing? I told you silly willies back in the stone age when that fake stuff came out that it was bad, tasted like shit, and look at you now. You have chemicals and nasty stuff clogged in your colon. How do you like that? You can't even poop right nowadays.

My grandpa is almost 100. He eats meat. He eats butter. He likes guns. He is a Republican. His skin is not gray. My grandpa rocks.

Do you have to do what I do or someone else does? Absolutely not. Just suggestions. Do what works for you. My main views about fitness and eating right are motivated by living healthy and not necessarily looking like a fitness model. But wouldn't that be nice? I don't have to live long, but for ever long I am here, I want it to be quality.

Tell me your fitness secrets? What kind of perfume do you like?


Coffeypot said...

NAVY taste pretty good.

Ms. A said...

If the water doesn't kill me, the perfume will. There's very few my system can take. Talk about chemicals! Have you ever researched your cosmetics, lotions, shampoos and things that go into your system the same way a medication patch does? And don't even get me started on household products, that's what ruined me!

Anonymous said...

Oh no my daughter has been conspiring with Momma fargo...
either that or they have been tradeing shopping lists...

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Buy your honey, raw, from a local producer. The stuff in stores????? Local honey may help any allergies you may have. I pay $10 a quart. Well worth it, to me.

The Queen said...

#9.. Moderation.. unless you are totally in to kidney stones.. then pig out on #9.. otherwise, not so much..

Water.. what the ever loving hell do you mix with that? Scotch?

Anonymous said...

God. What a beautiful blog!!! I've got so much to say. Wonder if my ADD will allow me to remember it all.

Oh well. Here it is:

People in France eat all kinds of stuff that just fly in the face of good common sense - as defined by North American standards. Cheese by the ton, enough to kill a moose (did I mention I'm Canadian?), and friggin' PASTRIES FOR BREAKFAST. Can you believe that noise?

Yet - they are the most healthiest, thinnest people I've ever met. They walk everywhere. They buy their groceries daily instead of weekly. It's all fresh. Real butter. Real cheese. I'm not sure they know the meaning of preservatives.

I like men's cologne and collect all kinds only because I haven't found an adequate replacement for my favourite cologne of all time - which is now discontinued. It was called "Dunhill for Men - Classic".

GunDiva said...

One of my new favorite salad dressings would go great on your salad. Equal parts soy sauce (low salt) and honey - whisk together and drizzle over salad. Just the right amount of salty and sweet.

Also, great no-bake energy bites:
1 c. oatmeal
1/2 c. peanut butter
1/3 c. honey
1 t. vanilla
raisins (optional)
1 scoop protein powder (or whatever your usual serving is. My visalus is 2 scoops; Mom's IsoPure is 1 scoop)

Scoop with a cookie scoop and chill. Makes about 16 and runs between 70 - 100 calories, depending on your protein powder.