Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Strange Brews

Bug and I had an eventful day. We picked all the colors out at the paint store for the Hairy Potter House. We only purchased one gallon of the base paint and a quart to paint over the barn graffiti mess on the north side.

I put her to work on the barn. Luckily the graffiti was done by short people. Probably midgets.

She did a fabulous job.

Meanwhile...I was scraping, using a wire brush and screwdriver to get the house ready. I had already taken a garden hoe to the entire place. I think I might invest in a good paint scraper, but next month. I started to paint the base paint, Knight's Armor. Love it. In fact, all of our paint colors are conducive to the Harry Potter House style...Knight's Armor, White Owl Farts, Raven's Feathers, Black Magic, and Dragon Balls. It's going to be awesome! Someday. I'm doing it the medieval way as well, a little at a time. Not because I don't have a cabana boy, well, yes, it has something to do with that. I, for one, want to relish in telling people it took MONTHS to get it done. Second, if I did it for more than 5 hours at a whack...I would hate, resent it, and paint it one color.

I have come to find some problems. My posts holding up the front porch are too small and not strong enough. Sheriff Mike and I found some larger ones, but that means I need man help. I don't have any. So...before winter...possibly...I am going to become a man. Or maybe ask Lord Farquaad and Sheriff Mike if they could assist. I haven't decided yet if I will tackle it myself.  I know what needs to be done, it just may take someone or two people stronger than me. I also found some foundation work that needs to be patched and sealed. No problemo. I can do that one all by myself. I am a contractor...at least in my mind. For an 1898ish house...I thought that was pretty darn spiffy. It needs a new roof, but it doesn't leak yet. Maybe mother nature will give me one next year. Potter is starting to show some age...

While we were busy little bees, Bug asked me a series of questions..

BUG: Mom, what do you want for your birthday?

ME: An oil change in the Gold Beast. In fact, I want the garage to come pick up my truck at work and deliver it to me when I get home. They do that in town at the college, you know.

BUG: Uh. Mom. That's a gross birthday present. Anything else?

ME: New tires on the Gold Beast.

BUG: Mom! You can't get those kind of presents for your birthday. Yuck! Don't you want something pretty?

ME:  Antique gargoyle lights on the front and back of the house. I need two.

BUG: I am not talking to you until you can give me a good answer.

ME: That was my answer. In order of importance.

BUG: You are so going to get nothing for your birthday.

ME: Yeah. I know.

Pitiful birthday list. As I thought about it, it was probably the lamest list I have ever come up with in all of my life. At my age...celebrating the 17th anniversary of my 29th year, I really don't need anything "pretty". Those things are nice, but not necessary. This year it's about necessary. It doesn't please the Bugmeister who is all about giving "pretty" presents like perfume, jewelry, something flashy. Maybe I'm growing up.  But it's a good list and I like everything on it. Maybe I will write to Santa...


Ms. A said...

Your list sounds reasonable to me. That's the only kind of want list I ever make, but never for a birthday, or Christmas. I never, ever ask for gifts for those. The only thing I will ask for (at Christmas) is photos, period.

Momma Fargo said...

Ms. A,

Thank you for liking my list.
I never ask for gifts for any occasion, either. She just asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

Daddy Hawk said...

There is nothing wrong with practical presents. They last longer than "nice" things, and you get more use and enjoyment from them.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I hear ya: Everything is drudgery when there's no Cabana boy. Where's the justice?!


Coffeypot said...

I think it is sweet and good parenting that you didn't ask for a box of batteries for your vibrator. Or a new butt-plug.

VandyJ said...

Cabana boys make everything better! Or at least easier to handle.

Jewells said...

lmao...OMG it's sooo good to know that crappy and completely unexciting lists for birthdays and Christmas isn't just my specialty.

I had birthday money from my birthday this year. It never fails that when I have money I can't find anything I want to spend it on. So what did I end up buying with my birthday money because it was something I'd wanted but didn't want to spend my credit card money on? Bath towels. Extra big fluffy bath towels. They were almost as good as a brand new fluffy pair of sweat pants.

Want to know what's on my Christmas list so far? A dishwasher. I've never had one, and I'm sick of washing dishes by hand.

So yeah...those my pretties to spoil myself with. =) lol

R said...

Sounds like you need better paint prep tools. Skip the plain old steel scrapers and jump right to the carbide bladed scrapers that don't need constant sharpening to be effective. I really like Bahco scrapers from Sweeden and they are availble online if bug can't source them locally.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
We JUST got a new roof...didn't know you could go through money THAT FAST...LOL.
The good news is that the roof will probably outlive ME.

As to the Gold Beast?
Yeah, things like that ARE "necessary" (wink, wink).

Maybe you can use a jack or jack stands to help with the porch situation (just a thought).
Everything else you sound like you have well in hand...

BTW, don't bother with "just" a paint scraper...get a "5-in-1" tool...ask for it at the hardware store...you'll be happy you got it (when you get it).

And that's from one homeowner to another.

Hang in there and stay safe.