Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, June 12, 2014

The Federation

Today they let the federal prisoners out and they all came to VBS. Four of them. I knew we were in trouble when they waltzed into the church with all black hair and clothing. One was real cool with a bandanna and Lt. Dangle sunglasses. I guess that is how they dress gangster and Goth in the near south. LAME-O. It took all my might not to laugh at them. At best they reminded me of Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley. For a second in my mind, Fargo almost came out and said something Popo sarcastic. God made me contain myself.

They tried each and every one of us and we were fried, upset, and had to raise our voices. The minister showed an authoritarian side to him. I think it mostly insulted him when the federal prisoners were talking while he was talking. I was most upset they were fondling each other in front of the little ones in the sanctuary. Yep, they were on my radar.

Baby mamas brought their two year olds again which were very disruptive. Instead of only Moon River Jedidiah, who did hold his pants up today but screamed the entire night, we had Isaac the Chatterbox, Gabby Abby, and Hannah the Banana.

The sad thing is, Liz and I discussed the rotten ones should leave as they were such a deviant group and bad influence on the others who chose to follow their rotten ways rather than turn away because they were beckoned to do so by peer pressure and hormones. The younger teens had nothing to do with them, but The Federation took the older teens to their cave of evil.

Church is supposed to help the oppressed and the misguided and never turn away a soul. Well, the church person that decided to help the deviants should be tasked with them and not able dump them on us the last two days of VBS.

Bug did not have fun and she was disgusted. Many kids complained to me and to Liz about The Federation's behavior.

They weren't the only drama trauma. They were just the new gang in town.

My little dude with the speech and stuttering problems beat up another small ornery kid. Ok. Jacob deserved it because he isabratandifhewasmykidIwouldsowhoophisass, but Dwayno was really naughty and gave him a skinned up face out on the basketball court which is gravel. Bob turned them over to the minister who turned them over to me. Dwayno lied through his teeth to the point he disappointed his cousin so much that his cousin, Eric, would not talk to him anymore. I put the brakes on the lies and we had a talk about that. He was a pathodislogical liar. That means he lies went down all paths and had no logic as to when and where he would lie or about what. Even if he was caught red handed by 10 people, cameras, DNA, and audio tape, he would still lie. I told him he would make a good Bill Clinton. It went over his head.

Eric yelled at Dwayno while he tried to lie to me. Eric walked off and said he was "done" with Dwayno. Dwayno was really hurt by this but I thought it was a good lesson for him. He sat with me the rest of the night and he actually was enjoyable. Me thinks he has no discipline at home and has also suffered his speech disorders because no one worked with him. He is a smart kid and his speech embarrasses him and he has a lot of trouble talking. Especially for an 11 year old. It is really hard to understand him. He looks down while mumbling words and skipping over them because he can't say them and has trouble reading. His stuttering is worse when he gets excited. I really feel sorry for him. If we didn't have so many kids to supervise, he would be one I would like to work with one on one.

Frankie made a point to circle the sanctuary and seek me out. He came over to where I was seated and said, "Miss K. Hi, Miss K. How are you?" I looked up at his sweet chubby face and bright smile. I so wanted to pinch his cheeks. I said, "Frankie, I have missed your sunny face. I am well. How are you?" He lit up like a Christmas tree and went back to his group. He melted my heart and took all the frustration away. At least for that moment. I lurve him.

That is until the federal prisoners started stroking each other in front of me. I got so mad I told the girls to move in my row. I think they knew I meant business on my face and from my gritted teeth speech because they got upright lickety split and sat at attention next to me the rest of the program.

As I drug myself through the door to my house, Bug asked me what "foe" meant in the bible story today.

ME: Well, in my case, it would be the rotten kids today. I'm so tired. They were my foe. My enemy. I will not go quietly into that good night! Grrr. Charge! I will defeat them!

BUG: Mom? Are you OK?

ME: Yeah. In the story it meant God's enemies.

BUG: Ok.

If I had any alcohol right now, I would so take it as my medicine and go nighty nighty.
I love the rotten, ungrateful kids. I love the rotten, ungrateful kids. I love the rotten, ungrateful kids.
Photo credit: Pinterest Amy Lee
I wonder if I could sell their church selfies they posed for on eBay and use the money to fix the church roof that suffered damage in the last storm. We might make money on their porn pictures from their cell phones as well. There has to be a market for all that. Oh yeah, that might be a crime. You know, try to tell a teenager that taking naked pictures of themselves and passing them around and passing around their friend's naked pictures is distributing child pornography and exploiting children. It's real effective when the teenager you are talking to is toting her 2 year old and she is 16.


Tennessee Grammie said...

And the Devil is sure taking his due... Keep up the fight Momma!!

Coffeypot said...

So that is the secret to getting Momma Fargo’s undivided attention. All I have to do is whip someone’s ass and lie about it. That works for me. Especially since I know you have wanted, for years, to given me a cavity search and pat me down. Sighhhh! A man can dream.

Allenspark Lodge said...

Repeat after me.

Make sure there are no witnesses.
Make sure there are no witnesses.
Make sure there are no witnesses.


ravenjanedoh said...

Well you're a better woman than me. I would have dumped them all alongside the interstate and driven away.