WHO gets stopped at a DUI checkpoint?
STONE COLD SOBER.
Comments from the cops: "Oh, she does those maneuvers quite well. Like a pro."
LIKE I HAVE SEVERAL DUIs ON MY RECORD!!!!!????!!!
I thought to myself: LIKE. A. BOSS. BECAUSE I USED TO BE A FREAKIN' COP, DUMBASS!
Why did I get targeted?
Because I had been crying from my hair do disaster at the salon.
I guess I LOOKED like a DRUNK BIMBO.