Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


The breeze came by my desk as my boss walked briskly past in a huff. Since I was indoors, the weather caught my attention.

Man in a huff.

BOSS: I am so pissed. What is wrong with this place? There are Maxi-Pads in the first aid kit and no Band-Aids. Goll, I just can't believe it. AND WHY ARE THERE MAXI-PADS IN THE FIRST AID KIT?

ME: I put them there.

BOSS: *blink*blink*

ME:  It could happen. Look at last year...we had two incidents. Universities have crazy happenings. [laughing] Those Maxi-Pads are to be used as compresses in case of major injuries or to plug the bullet holes. Or if someone needed them for a monthly emergency, I would gladly go buy more. Did you not pay attention in my emergency response classes?

BOSS: [grr][fuming mad, irritated] Do you guys have any Band-Aids?

ME: Not me.

KELLY: Not me.

                                                        (photo credit: imgfave.com, Pinterest)

I seriously had to think about that. 

I could not wrap my head around a 53 year old man freaking out about Maxi-Pads. 

So, this morning, I brought in some medical supplies to refill our workplace first aid kit, in which I robbed from my NOLS WMI packs and search and rescue supplies. I keep everything on hand and updated...ready for the Zombie Apocalypse. I am weird like that.

As I was looking at the neatly organized kit I had made, the maxi pads were still intact in their individual boxes (SMH). It wasn't like they were all stuck up in there, hanging from the lid for all to see. Nor were they used (ew-gross). I checked around for all the supplies and I came across familiar medical doodads.

I pulled out a Zip Loc baggy.

[No, even though I work in academia, it was NOT the hidden pot stash.]

Low and behold!

The baggy was chuck full of Band-Aids. I added my new supply and additional medical doodads to the kit.

Around 8:00 am, Kelly came into work. Kelly brought the boss a bag of Band-Aids also.

I really believe the man had frozen up in fright when he came across the words: "MAXI-PAD" and out the window went all his senses. Little ol' me had to tease him about this morning when he came in...

ME: I had to laugh about you yesterday. Did you freeze up when you saw "Maxi-pads" because there was a bag of Band-Aids in the kit.

BOSS: They were little tiny Band-Aids. I needed a big one. [giggle] I did not freeze up over Maxi-Pads. [giggle]

ME: [giggle] OK. You didn't clarify that yesterday.

KELLY: [giggle]

We all said MAXI-PADS and giggled. It's kind of like "boobies"...[giggle] only different.


VandyJ said...

Now see, Boobies makes the inner 12 year old giggle, Maxi-pads make the inner 12 year old girl giggle, the inner 12 year old boy extremely nervous. They never really get over that nervousness.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

While changing the clutch in wife's Vega (what a POS that car was) the transmission fell off the jack. My finger was between it and the driveway. Split the finger open. Home alone. Found a mini pad, duct tape that sucker on my finger, and finished the job on the clutch.

Later, at the walk in clinic, they didn't even blink.

Coffeypot said...

Tell the ssob (boss spelled backward) to put his ouchie under cold water and press toilet paper over his booboo for a few seconds and he will live. If not 911 can handle emergencies and paper cuts.

He might be surprised to know that during WWII Johnson and Johnson (and others) set pads overseas for the medics to use on the battlefield.

Momma Fargo said...

Vandy J, [giggle, giggle]

WSF-Ha! Your pad story makes me laugh, too. See? They are funny.

Coffeypot, we teased him today. I really think people have no idea that medical compresses are designed the same. AND military and law enforcement carry them in their medical kits all the time. LOL

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Tell that "boss" that HE needs to pit on some LONG pants and get with the program when it comes to FIRST AID (and triage)...Gesz!

I knew immediately what Maxi-Pads were doing in that kit.

That boss needs to learn what it is to be able to do ANYTHING with NOTHING...at ANY TIME...LOL.

Hell, we're just as stocked at our "Fortress", too.
We even have kits in BOTH cars.
(it's called PREPARED for a reason)
And in my "go-bag", guess what?
I have a "squad-size" Med-Kit...just in case.

It's like a FIREARM...better to HAVE it and NOT NEED it, than NEED it and NOT HAVE it, hmm?
(got both)

Good post AND comments.

Roll safe down there, Kiddo.

Momma Fargo said...

Bob G.-all I can do is shake my head. LOL

GunDiva said...

Your poor boss. He'd better pay attention when you're talking. Otherwise, how will he know that he can use the ziplock the bandaids are in for a sucking chest wound? Or that tampons are used to, you know, tamponade. And wait 'til he sees the CAT you're going to put in there. You ARE going to put a tourniquet in there, right?

Momma Fargo said...

GunDiva...of course! LOL