Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Friday, October 17, 2014

So You Think You Can Take Me?

I see lights and sirens in my future accompanied by frumpy Department of Family Services workers pounding at the front door of the Harry Potter House.

Garage cleaning afforded me some new finds. They were old, but had been stored so long they were new.

Bug has been sassy and toting quite the attitude. It is irritating my every last nerve. She happened upon my boxing gloves and pads and did the inevitable. Yes, she challenged her mother.

My response: "So you think you can take me?"

She smiled a big smile and said, "Bring it."


I am going to jail.

We proceeded to "BRING IT" and she lost. She did, however, get one good swing into my crotch.Do you know how much it hurts to get hit in the vagina?

 I returned fire, cringing and wincing the entire time, hunched over with squeezed thighs.

After it was all said in done, I pummeled the little monster. I felt good about it. No regrets. Mommy gave an ass whoop down on the kid. It made me powerful.

She agreed that now she might need boxing lessons as well as some martial arts and informed me I need to go a quarter speed.

No mercy for the kid. This is life. Do you think we are going to do it at half speed?

About those marks?

Yes, we both had them. ON OUR HEADS.

                                             Photo credit: Shape Magazine

Yeah. I look EXACTLY like this woman only blond.

I know what you are thinking-What the hell is she thinking? What the hell is she doing? Has she lost her mind?

It's a new parenting method.

Just try and bring the PoPo to my house. Do it.


MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,

Well teenagers don't always have sense..you know. I have heard that getting zapped in the crotch is painful for girls also. Granted it is mostly internal, they are still sensitive.
I am expecting that one day that my son will test me and I am not sure how I will handle it.

Coffeypot said...

Sorry you got a cooter punch, but I will kiss it well for you. No charge!

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Youngest son once broke a wooden kitchen chair over my head. Was not a positive outcome for him.

Ms. A said...

My kids have had the ability to take me down for decades. There was a time recently that I might have been able to take Michael down, but he was already so far down it wouldn't have been fair.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
I agree w/ Coffey - teen tend to leave their sense in the "old sock drawer" for a few years, until LIFE takes them around the block a few times and shows them "the ropes".
Nice job w/ the "lesson" in boxing.
(I took 2 years martial arts)

I will say that whatever you do to your body in life WILL catch up to you...that's why you protect your "important" bits...lol.

Now, as for sparring with the "neighbors" in the ghettohood?
(not with a ten-foot pole)
You live (and teach) by EXAMPLE, grasshopper.

Very good post and comments.

Roll safe (and no hits below the belt) down there.

Tennessee Grammie said...

Good lesson! Bug needs to be reminded that her britches are not as big as she thinks they are. I raised a male who only challenged me once - he was about 4 years old at the time. He was on the floor in the family room watching TV when I asked him to do something. He didn't even turn around when replied: "I'm not going to do it and you can't make me." Without a sound, I came up behind him - slid my hands under his arm pits and did a clean jerk off the floor with him, spun him around, caught him again in the air facing me and holding him about 2 inches nose to nose quietly said: "What did you say? I'm not sure I heard you correctly." His eyes were huge, chocolate saucers and tears started to fall as his lips quivered. He said: "Yes Mama, I'll do it now." I slowly set him down and he never seriously challenged me again...

Old NFO said...

Ain't no half speed in the real world... Just sayin...

Coffeypot said...

I know I could take you. I would offer you a doughnut, and when you lunged for it, I'd take you out with a punch to the side of your head. A take-down cop trick that works every time.