Stage 1. 0-32...I am a rock star! Invincible!
Stage 2. 32...babies? GET IT OUT!
Stage 3. 33-39...I am just cruising. I am climbing mountains. Laid back on the run. Bipolar stage.
Stage 4. 40-WTF? Gravity. Isn't there a movie about spacial things called by the same name?
Stage 5. 41-44...I am superstar reincarnated! Ninja skills. Hear me roar! To the wall!
Stage 6. 45...Body to self..you want me to do what? I have fallen and I can't get up! Feet are 20 lb kettle bells. Lucille Ball crying during sex with self. Wine is a staple.
Stage 7. 46...WTF revisited! Boobs on the ground. Broken shit. Celery makes me fat.
Stage 8. 47...Fuck you, body, I'm 29! Repair for takeoff! Repair. Repair. Why aren't you listening? Boxing is good for the mind.
Stage 9. 48...TBD. Stand by.
Perhaps I should embrace aging this ancient way...
Then, I could literally say I shit gold nuggets at age 50.