Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Friday, November 14, 2014

Celery Makes Me Fat

Getting old has been eye opening. I have my own chart. It's not like any other. I made it up myself. It is based upon real experiences, however, and not fake in any way. Here's my motto...thanks to good ol' Aldous Huxley. I had no idea who that person is, so I had to Google it. It might be fake information, though, because the link is to Wikipedia. You're welcome!

So here we go on with the show...

Stage 1. 0-32...I am a rock star! Invincible!

Stage 2. 32...babies? GET IT OUT!

Stage 3. 33-39...I am just cruising. I am climbing mountains. Laid back on the run. Bipolar stage. 

Stage 4. 40-WTF? Gravity. Isn't there a movie about spacial things called by the same name?

Stage 5. 41-44...I am superstar reincarnated! Ninja skills. Hear me roar! To the wall!

Stage 6. 45...Body to self..you want me to do what? I have fallen and I can't get up! Feet are 20 lb kettle bells. Lucille Ball crying during sex with self. Wine is a staple.

Stage 7. 46...WTF revisited! Boobs on the ground. Broken shit. Celery makes me fat.

Stage 8. 47...Fuck you, body, I'm 29! Repair for takeoff! Repair. Repair. Why aren't you listening? Boxing is good for the mind. 

Stage 9. 48...TBD. Stand by.

Perhaps I should embrace aging this ancient way...

Then, I could literally say I shit gold nuggets at age 50. 


Allenspark Lodge said...

Knock it off! Old is beyond 80 somewhere. Life got increasingly better for me from 50 on - so you have some good stuff to look forward to! 50 is when I started my horselife with my first ever horse - a BLM Mustang. Talk about something wanting to 'kick you butt', try a 10 yo wild horse (right off the range)? Follow that up with a 5 mo. old, obnoxious as heck, smarter than Satan, dominant wild filly! That can make you appreciate life.

Miss you, girl. Come see us sometime!

Bionic Cowgirl

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
ROFL...you have a wonderful way of looking at becoming more "mature"...I call it being "well-seasoned".
(I got more seasoning than 10 Thanksgiving turkeys in me at MY age - 62 & still running)

I WILL agree that it is 100% TRUE what people say about everything you put your body through all during your life will (and DOES) catch up to you.
The hard part is trying to IGNORE most of it.
I do like that Aldous Huxley quote, too. Excellent.

Hang in there and have yourself a safe weekend down there, dear.

Momma Fargo said...

Bionic Cowgirl, you are the superstar of all and I know you are the toughest woman I know. There are a lot of knows in that statement. Anyknowitall...you are da bomb diggety! I will come see you. I have plans in the future.

Bob G...I think you are stronger than I and I admire your spirit. I would have guessed you were 45 in body and 25 in mind. :)

Dazee Dreamer said...

I feel you, but I have a good 10 years on you, so, ummmm, triple all that good stuff. :)

Old NFO said...

Heh... One of THOSE weeks eh???

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,

Celery don't make you fat....junk food makes you fat...Celery just scrapes everything out ahead of it on the way out....

Every week you draw breath, is a good week