Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Owl You Need Is Love

The daughter has been full of herself. Beat me now.

She challenged me again to boxing (with no gloves or equipment) and I said...

                                                          Photo credit: Pinterest

She thought it would be cute then to wrestle. She always loses and ends up screaming. I told her wrestling is not cheap shots to the vagina and hair pulling. She said that is the only way she knows to throw me off guard. Lordt, what have I done?

                                                           Photo credit: Pinterest

So, after taking her to the ground and tickling her until she peed...which made her scream and get angry at her mother...I proceeded to make dinner. I had a pan in my hand approaching the stove...ready to make some home cooked goodness... and after her crying fit Bug got up and tried to approach me with pee pee pants. Disgusting. No way was I going to let that near me. I took a Musketeer stance and waved a pan in my hand warding her off.

Side note: Moose does not like "play fighting or wrestling or anything like that". Unfortunately for me, I taught him to attack someone who threatens me or Mady. So during this ordeal, he is confused and runs around and barks excessively. 

As I was waving my pan in fancy ninja form and all chaos was breaking loose which consisted of a teen screaming, a dog barking, and a mother fending off pee pee pants...and a partridge in a pear tree...Moose zigged as I zagged.

         Photo credit: Pinterest

As you can already imagine, the pan made a connection to Moose's head. *CLANG!* Instantly, we all stopped fooling around, panicked, and hugged the dog who was cowering. Poor thing. I checked him and hoped I had not cracked his skull. He did not appear to have any brain damage, however, he avoided me for some time after that...poor puppy.

Photo credit: Fargo

Of course, Bug got her words in and asked, "How could you do that to this poor, beautiful puppy, Mommy?" Yes, I felt as big as minutia or smaller.

                                                          Photo credit: Pinterest

It was pretty solemn at the Harry Potter House after that. Moose and I fell asleep on the couch early on and much to my surprise because I kept watching him for a sign to take him to the vet. I guess it was about 7ish when we dozed off.

I was afraid I had killed him. The End.


Commchick said...

Oh, wow, I would have dropped the pan and grabbed Moose up in a doggy hug while crying my eyes out and apologizing for hitting him. I'm sure he figured out that you didn't mean to do it, dogs are really smart. Hope you guys are staying warm.

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,
Moose knows what happened. And Bug will test you again. It is a teen thing. Good that you are teaching her how to scrap. That is a good skill to know especially when she is in high school and the bullies try to test her.

Old NFO said...

Teens do that crap... sigh... At least Moose is okay (hopefully)... Hang in there!

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Good Lord, you do have some "busy" days at the Harry Potter House.
(maybe it's built on some Indian burial grounds?)

As for the Bug going #1...next time, she wants to wrestle, hand out some panty-liners and tell her politely (in your BEST smiley face) "yer gonna NEED these."
Afterwards, you can take her to the laundry room and introduce her to "Mr Washer & Ms. Dryer".

As to the pup?
Dogs have notoriously HARD heads (like some street perps).
Hope the pan wasn't dented too badly. And doggie treats go a LONG way to making up.

You stay safe and warm down there, Kiddo.