Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Running, Trotting, Explosive Leaps and Pounds

No one really has to throw me tests or test me in life for any such reason. I do it to myself. God doesn't even have to toss me any challenges but I'm sure He does it for amusement.

Yesterday...I decided to go to breakfast with my friend instead of eating my homemade stuff. The cafeteria is cheap and the Chef makes up a great feast. Breakfast is no more than $2.00. It's all homemade, but not with the stuff I can consume except for the bacon and eggs. I opted for homemade jumbo biscuits and gravy.

I opted to spend the next hour sitting on the pot and evacuating all college students from the 1st floor restroom. When that was too mighty for me to stand, I then bombed the basement level restroom.

Noon came around.

The boss took us out to lunch. I could have chosen a salad with grilled chicken and balsamic vinaigrette. I opted to join my colleagues with juicy burgers by selecting a blackened chicken sandwich and homemade malt vinegar potato chips.

It was delicious even though I took off the bun because it had too much butter on it.

One hour later...while running and sliding into home base (a stall) in the 1st floor restroom, I evacuated the place again. 30 minutes later I consumed the 2nd floor restroom with fog. 30 minutes later it became necessary to use the basement facility.

I went to the gym.

Two trots to the bathroom followed by runs and not on the running track if you know what I mean. The lights flickered. I continued to do my bitness, although the sound and consistency of the shart stream was affected by the power outage.

I used the whole roll.


Yeah. Did not happen.

Two minutes to blast off and a few feet from entering the door and I left to fog up the lower bathroom then go home.

Once I got home, I went to bed.

Epic failure.

I guess that taught me.

I don't think descriptive details are necessary, but everything was a strange yellow color. I wish it was more of this kind of crap...

You can file this post in those things you needed to know. Or not. I like to share. You're welcome!

1 comment:

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:

You talk more POOP that DR. OZ!
I think you need your OWN show.

Stay safe down there, Kiddo.