Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Sled On My Head

Indiana may not be my ideal landing place. I am finding the humidity FINALLY is hitting me in the lungs and the mosquitoes find my blood most suitable for dining. For some reason, the last two years have been mild and I am told this is more "typical" of the humidity but "unusual" for the rain. I can't run until at least 10:30 pm because it is too hot and too humid. Not that the humidity every shuts off. Egads. This is the first year I have experienced it and I think all the rain has attributed to the change in atmosphere. This brings about more critters, the ones I don't like...i.e. slugs and bugs.

For the first time in my life, mosquito bites are swelling to the size of a basketball. It makes me a little weirded out that I am having such a reaction. Maybe the mosquitoes out here are super potent villainous creatures. Why is my body changing so much! Ermagerd!

Once this reaction occurs, I have no choice but to consult with Benadryl which knocks me out for hours and I wake up in a fog. Not a fan. Erg. Just give me a beer and what a great roofie created-wake me up in two days. Not really. I don't like being in a fog. It sucks monkey ballz.

Coffee was introduced at about 0800 which is a late start for me and it is slowly working. Maybe I should take it intravenously. Enter the Komodo Dragon.

Many have asked if I am going to write another book. Not right now. Not in the mood. Terrible, huh? I am working on something for parents about child predators. It's in the very rough draft stage. I'm still not feeling the writing bug. Maybe it's because I feel like a swollen basketball. I don't know. I am also revising The Boogie Man so it passed the time this summer while I gaffed off my list of house duties while Bug was away. My enthusiasm is missing as deeply as Hillary Clinton's emails.

Isn't it funny how anyone close to the WH has zapped emails? Wow. Must be an epidemic there. Perhaps I should tell them to apply my tax dollars to a server which is in working order.

My life is now filled with school activities, doggie loves, and teenager honey do lists. Where did my life go? I can only escape by the dark of the night when I go running lit by fire flies. So crazy.

At least we have a month reprieve before students settle in again. And what on yonder bough breaks say you? Yeah. The language of the yoot.

Meanwhile, I have learned some new Near South language:

clawlset: spelled c-l-o-s-e-t. A place to house clothes.

sawl: spelled s-a-w: past tense of see

And I met another person who used the word "toboggan" in reference to a hat. Once again, they wear fucking sleds on their heads around here. Geesh. That shit must get heavy.



MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo;

The comments I could make about the Mosquito's finding you delectable would provide amusement for all...but I will spare you;). Seriously though I am out in the woods a lot and people here swear by apple vinegar and dial soup. Here in Georgia, they are attracted to strong perfumes and other scents. Unscented soap works best and I am a huge fan of "Off". I keep cans of that stuff laying around. I don't like to get skeeter bit, my skin does weird things. So to go into the woods, I douse myself in OFF. They make a oil free version so you don't get that shiny look on your skin.
I do like the skeeter sign you posted though...

GunDiva said...

Get thee some Redmond clay. Truly, the most amazing stuff ever for bug bites and sunburns. http://www.redmondclay.com/

I might or might not have tried the Redmond First Aid for horses on myself. Same stuff, mined out of the same mine. Great stuff though. Seriously, get you some!

Old NFO said...

Don't move to Louisiana then, that sign IS true down there...