Never in those dark moments or despair did I think life was over or become disconnected. I had a strong family structure and after short periods of time, those issues dissolved. Sometimes I changed my behavior because of them and sometimes I took it in stride. Many times I had my feelings hurt. But I got over it. And when I was the bully, I think I felt bursts of power or accomplishment that I squashed something or someone. That is unfortunate. People suck sometimes, but we are human and to be human is to err.
It's different through the looking glass as an adult. If your child is the brunt of the words, it really hits you in right the feelers.
This week has been difficult.
My relationship with my daughter in the teenager stage is a struggle. I am taming the beast inside me when she pushes my buttons by gritting my teeth and breathing big gulps of air before my ninja reflex skills send her to the next planet. It's really the first urge to curb back talking and sass. At least it's my first urge. It is my hot button.
Despite all that, she is a really good kid. She works hard in school and sports. She just sasses the mother which creates THE MOMSTER. It happens. I hate the conflict. NOT because I don't like conflict...but because teenagers should be respectful and when naught...I get fuming pissed. I don't like myself like that.
When your kid gets bullied and it hurts your heart. Like hits you right...there.
This week two incidents happened at school. She sat next to a girl in the cafeteria with her lunch and the girl and her friends left the table to sit elsewhere. Then, in the gym, she sat next to one of her friends and a group of girls left. Her friend told her they didn't like her because she is pretty and dresses nice. Well poop shit. How do you answer that?
|My cute Bug|
I told her she couldn't make people like her. I told her to be kind. I said she is beautiful and they are jealous. Wait until they meet THE MOMSTER. Not really. It just is my first instinct...protect your young. But I will not interfere in this one and let my daughter sort it out.
Bitches. Girls are mean.