Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Jeremiah Was A Bully Frog

It's really hard to gauge which hardships in life shape us in a positive or negative direction. Did I get bullied? Sure. Did I bully people? Sure. I remember some of the incidents so I guess they stay with you in that respect. However, I think all of the events made me stronger or learned me a lesson.

Never in those dark moments or despair did I think life was over or become disconnected. I had a strong family structure and after short periods of time, those issues dissolved. Sometimes I changed my behavior because of them and sometimes I took it in stride. Many times I had my feelings hurt. But I got over it. And when I was the bully, I think I felt bursts of power or accomplishment that I squashed something or someone. That is unfortunate. People suck sometimes, but we are human and to be human is to err.

It's different through the looking glass as an adult. If your child is the brunt of the words, it really hits you in right the feelers.

This week has been difficult.

My relationship with my daughter in the teenager stage is a struggle. I am taming the beast inside me when she pushes my buttons by gritting my teeth and breathing big gulps of air before my ninja reflex skills send her to the next planet. It's really the first urge to curb back talking and sass. At least it's my first urge. It is my hot button.

Despite all that, she is a really good kid. She works hard in school and sports. She just sasses the mother which creates THE MOMSTER. It happens. I hate the conflict. NOT because I don't like conflict...but because teenagers should be respectful and when naught...I get fuming pissed. I don't like myself like that.

But...what's worse?

When your kid gets bullied and it hurts your heart. Like hits you right...there.

This week two incidents happened at school. She sat next to a girl in the cafeteria with her lunch and the girl and her friends left the table to sit elsewhere. Then, in the gym, she sat next to one of her friends and a group of girls left. Her friend told her they didn't like her because she is pretty and dresses nice. Well poop shit. How do you answer that?

My cute Bug

I told her she couldn't make people like her. I told her to be kind. I said she is beautiful and they are jealous. Wait until they meet THE MOMSTER. Not really. It just is my first instinct...protect your young. But I will not interfere in this one and let my daughter sort it out.

Bitches. Girls are mean.


Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
From what you describe to us, I think you're doing an exemplary job of parenting.
(but what do I know...I only have an old cats and a wife...lol)
Still, I can relate to that jealousy school gig - kids will ALWAYS find ways to demean others...must be THEIR upbringing.
(definitely NOT yours...or Bug's)

BTW, by the looks of that picture, she's a "heart-breaker". Sure, you can tell here that.
(she must take after the Momster...HA!)

Keep up the good work.
Roll safe down there, dear.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Having only sons, can't comment on daughters. However, my sister raised a daughter who has become a remarkable adult. To paraphrase a conversation when she was a late teen.

"If you hit me, I'm calling CPS".

"OK, but the day you turn eighteen I am so going to beat your ass".

Hope this helps.

Old NFO said...

Girls are bad, teenagers are worse... It's ALL about putdowns, exclusion and ostracism from 'cliques' or 'clucks' as I call em... All you can do is the best you can do. She will either learn from her experiences or turn inward.

GunDiva said...

Those damn little bitches! Want to send the GunDiva after them? That way the Momster is in no way responsible.

It does suck, but you're raising her right. I hated those years with the Ashinator - so many hurt feelers, and always amplified by hormones. :(

Tennessee Grammie said...

The shuns are a result of THEIR feelings of self inadequacy and because Bug is refined, graceful, intelligent, kind and beautiful she is a natural target for them because they don't like competition. I saw that type of behavior over and over in my teen years. My advice is for Bug to continue to be herself, be kind and loving and to take a long, hard look at those hurtful girls; they are not the type of people she should have as 'friends' because they are truly not friend material. Their clique may be 'popular' with SOME of their classmates now, but that too will change as the teens mature and learn which personality traits are admirable, and which are not.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Well WTF!!?? What has the world come to? Being pretty and dressing nice used to mean you had a free ticket to the "in crowd" FOREVER. At least they aren't tearing her to shreds. But I thought kids were supposed to look good to get friends. You can't win - by virtue of being human. Well, who needs "friends" like that? Certainly not your beautiful daughter whose mom is equally beautiful (inside and out).