Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Training Wheels

I might be working on republishing this after the Queen has helped me revamp it. It looks and reads much better. What is it, you say? Guess. Here's an excerpt.

Not only was my mind loaded with training material, scheduling, motherhood, and normal life but my home was in the flood zone of the North Platte River. The water was rising daily and I was concerned it would wash away my dream home. Sandbags and preparation were underway at home. I still had to work and I couldn’t freak out on something I couldn’t control.

Outside interferences plague us all the time, but I had to keep my mind on the rookie and Wheels was a sponge, trying to soak up everything he could learn. Actually, he was to the point where it was annoying sometimes. 

Wheels had soaked up all the academy ways of conducting a traffic stop. Now it was my turn to undo all of that and transform Robocop into a Casper Police officer. His first traffic stop was not pretty. He pulled over a vehicle for drag racing and made contact with the driver.

WHEELS: Sir, I pulled you over for drag racing. Do you have any legal justification for doing that?

ME: *blink*blink*   
DRIVER: *blink*blink*

WHEELS: Well, do you?

ME: *blink*blink* [roll eyes}


Back in the car Wheels decided to write the driver a ticket. Like any good trainer, I had to question his train of thought and interrupt his process. At this time in the game, he could not multi-task, so he had to put down his pen and talk to me. I was a ruthless trainer and I didn’t “soften” anything. I pretty much always laid it right out there.

ME: What in the hell are you asking him that crap for?

WHEELS: Yeah, after I said that, twice no less, I felt stupid.

ME: How does it feel?

WHEELS: To be stupid?

ME: Yep. That. Do you have any legal justification for being stupid?

WHEELS: [laughs] Uh. No.

ME: Carry on, Soldier.


I just needed to say that the Cleveland Abduction movie was a shockumentary. It isn't even a documentary film, obviously. But I am calling it that. I can watch about anything. It isn't even rated XXX or double gross. It really bothered me. There were times I shut it off. Then...I thought...nope. You have to watch this because it happened and you need to see it from a victim's side.

While I love, Raymond Cruz, I almost didn't recognize him in this movie. And he was nasty as Ariel.

If you really want to understand only a FRACTION of what victims go through...then watch it. If you have been a victim of a personal crime...then I say...maybe not a good idea. If you love animals...don't watch it.

It was disturbing.

The movie left me scarred, but it will callous over. No worries.

Did you ever watch Tom Cruise in The Fourth of July? I only have watched that movie once. That should set the stage for this one.

Same effect as House of Sand and Fog. There is no reason to watch it again.

Anyway...it also left me rallying again for the victims.

There is so much more work to be done to help any victim of any kind. Remember that. You don't know what they have been through. Each victim is different.

These are survivors.

I want all victims to be survivors and not victims. Bless their hearts.

We have a long way to go.

Happy @*th day of the Year 2016!


I hope your Christmas was merry and bright. I had a very nice one indeed.

So did my belly, feasting on all my friends' goodies. Boy. Does that ever need work now. Either that or I can just head to the North Pole and help Santa.

Today...a moment of silence for those lost over the holiday. I heard about husbands and wives, etc. Not a good time to lose those you love. Also...farewell to George Michael, Carrie Fisher, George S. Irving, Red Lane, etc. etc. Is it fair to et cetera everyone? It sounds so impersonal.

Sorry. In advance. Or actually retrospect.

In other news...Donald Trump goes down in history for the most mercurial Tweets. I wish people would stop setting him off like a Kindgergarten bully.  Meanies. I need more popcorn. And possibly a beer.

I think he is bi-polar and needs meds. I'm serious about that. Many brilliant and artistic people are bi-polar or suffer from mental illness. I am not making fun. I am only armchair diagnosing the man.

I can only imagine Ivanka might have the best looking wig in town. Why? Because she has to be pulling her hair out. Recently, some friends have indicated they wished she was the next president. I like her too.

So far...I am blowing kisses to 2016 and looking forward to new things in 2017. I hope it is a good year for everyone.


You still need to go out to all your favorite stores and stock up on things, find your safe place. It's a very scary world out there. Why?

Because I get paid to say that.

Well, at least it could boost the economy some.

Just kidding.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

Bob G. is the lucky winner of the big contest! Whoop! Whoop!

Thank you for all who played along.

No, he doesn't get a Lucille.

He does receive a Stephen King book series set, a spartan challenge coin, local Indiana products, and gift card.

I have to give a big shout out to the anonymous donors who gave the items for my readers. Sorry, they don't want to be recognized, but all did it over coffee when I mentioned doing a contest for fun. They said..."why not make it more fun with prizes!" Tada!

Much love for them. They are wonderful local old farts and friends.

Today is the last day for me to be getting my last minute shopping and things done for Christmas. It is truly a Charlie Brown Christmas and I am OK with that. I told Bug I was focusing on the meal and we could celebrate by being in our jammies all day, watching Christmas movies and napping. We will go to the midnight service at our church on Saturday.

I hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas!

Much love to you and see you after the big day!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Am I Back In Wyoming?

And 10 minutes later...
Not sure what will happen when we reach our high of 12 degrees...

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

State of Policing The Police

Did anyone catch the DOJ's State of Policing report just out? It's pretty impressive. Many pages. Many, many pages. Too many to count. Or read. I just skimmed it. Not really. I read the whole damn thing.

I think they have copied things from my blog and my research at college. Those bastahds. I should sue. Or maybe it's just the obvious what has been addressed by the fake news. Probably that.

It's so politically correct and all hip, too.

Ok. It is a good report, but I think although it has some great points, it left some stuff out. Go see for yourself. The state of law enforcement has some reformation to undertake which is no easy task and no cheap task. It is a profession. Treat them like professionals. Be picky. Be strict. Be fair.

Oh, I could go on, but my diplomacy just ran out.


Can we get an order of  FRIES with that NO FILTER, please?

Oh speaking of NO FILTERS...did you know liberals are actually throwing away PC and getting really mad? It's not all warm and fuzzy anymore. They have real feelings! Especially nowadays. The latest set them off...Donald Trump is announced as TIME magazine's Person of The Year. It is so funny to see the comments about this. When Obama graces the cover it is a positive affirmation and honor. When Donald Trump is on it....the naysayers say it is not always an honor to be chosen.

Well...I of solid mind do know that it is not always an honorable dealio like AWARD or TROPHY. It's a participation ribbon. The person on there has some influence, negative, positive, change, blah blah blah.

Participation ribbon. Same as the one given Obama in 2012. Or Putin. Geesh. Maybe. I think it was slanted because Obama's picture was better and more flattering. And the title this year...so typically negative next to a Republican figure: DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA. Well, that is true, but Obama is the President of the DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA right now. Asshats.

The media just keeps getting worse...more EVILER (that is a word) and negatively slanted one direction. I can't take it. I have been glancing and clicking off a lot.

In other news...


The contest continues. It's a non-socialist contest. I am sorry but not everyone wins. It's random. Refer to the previous post. Get on it. It closes soon. Your chances are really, really good. This is going to be a great contest...really, really great. The greatest of them all.

We are going to make it great again.

Truly, we can all be winners in our own minds, but you have to work really, really hard in life. Sometimes you get lucky. Like on here. One person will get lucky...in the contest. Stop thinking in the gutter. Think a different kind of "lucky."

It's not like someone is going to go grabbing up all the kitties or anything.

But they need to be stroked and loved, too.

                                                                                  Cuz they are cute.


You thought I meant something else.

Where are your minds? It's the holidays! You should be thinking of sugar plums and candy canes and pussies cute fuzzy stuffed toys!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

How About A Little Lucille?

I have no idea why the holidays brings about watching war movies. Bug insisted on watching American Sniper last night. Bizarre. She didn't want to watch Krampus, but I made her watch that the night before.


We might not be a normal family.

But soon...we shall watch Miracle on 34th Street and It's A Wonderful Life and all that.

And how about  The Walking Dead? It sucks. Ballz. Like dragon ballz. Except Eugene. I think he is stealing my lines. I loved, "I would like to take it back to awkward silence now." And Negan. I love Negan.

It's time to play a game. The people with the right answers will be thrown into a drawing for a prize which I will gladly mail to the winner. It's a good prize. At least I think so. And no...you don't get to know what it is until you get it. Why? Because it is a SUR prize. I know that isn't even spelled right. Who cares? It's free. Take it.

Don't worry...I will list the right answerers in another post and then announce the winner in another post and you can message me with your mailing address. So...yeah...you have to read some more posts before you drop off this site. Get it? Got it? Good marketing, right? Ha.

Multiple choice-"All I want for Christmas is_______________":

A) To beat the tar out of the burlgars...with LUCILLE. Oh, and world peace. 
B) My tools back.
C) School books because they are very very expensive.
D) A and C
E) B and C
F) All of the above.
G) None of the above.

Oh, and hint: I don't have insurance on the tools.  

Today is difficult. I want to go home and curl up in a blankie with my puppies. Why? Because I feel lazy, that's why. Some days I am not a badass.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Christmas Joy and HUD?

Amidst the Trump Twitter wars...

and holiday events...

... my life has become a normal spiritual holiday time. Here is my naked holiday video with a song for all of you...

I really needed that. It made me feel pretty.

After all, it took a while to exorcise the devil from within me after the burglary. I still am paranoid and scared of a second one. But...for now...I am turning my attention to the holidays.

Bug is full of enthusiasm to decorate and of course has given her mother an impossible list to fill but with the disclaimer: "It's OK if  you can't afford most of this."

Do their lists get more expensive with age? I believe so.

It's nice she recognizes her mother is poor, but I wish I could give her the sun, moon, and stars without giving her no sense of appreciation or instilling over-entitlement or disregarding any appreciation of the American dollar along with that spoilage.

I always drag her along for donating for Toys for Tots. But I still don't think she gets it. Well, I tried.

Photo credit: Someone brilliant on Pinterest

We got into the Christmas spirit by going to a Christmas walk in town and now tomorrow, our town has the annual tree lighting festivities with hot cocoa and cookies on every corner. Be still my sugar tooth. I must not indulge. I refuse to gain the holiday 15...or is it 5?

And just when I am full of the Christmas spirit...our news outlets report some strange occurrence. Meanwhile...Trump nominates Carson for HUD dude? Really? Whiskey-tango-foxtrot. Is it one of those moments where he goes..."PSYCH! I was really really going to say Surgeon General."

Bless the souls lost in the fires in Tennessee and Oakland. Grr. I have no words.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Put Your Left Foot Out

I am full of joy, Master Chief!

Not really. I do feel Satan is leaving my body, however.

So what gives? Nothing. Nothing gives except time. Time to dissipate anger. I passed it around. Everyone near to me is so happy with this and you're welcome.

In the news? It's quite gloomy out there. Fires. Riots. Protesters yanking tree lights off Christmas displays. Shootings. Knifings. Crazy shit. And the leftists blame it on the right. Let's take a poll and find out how many of those suspects are Republicans. Oh, snap. Fargo is full of snark. Is it true? Is it true that Satan has been driven out and our old Fargo is appearing?

I don't know. I still feel some fiery anger in there. It makes me frown a lot while I walk around.

But I would wager a banana salad and a coffee those folks up there creating some issues going beyond just peaceful protesting... are mostly undeclared, Independents, or Democrats. Mostly leftists.

The Faceplant has been so full of daily rants and ridicules. I have never heard of so many people defriended their family and friends over someone they have never met or invited over for dinner. So..you just exorcised Aunt Mary from your Facebook friends because she voted for Trump? You just defriended five friends because of their daily Democrat rants? Really? We have grown such thin skins. It might be age at our stage in the game. THEY say skin gets thin as we grow old. Anyway...wow. You could just click on the notifications and not get them in your newsfeed or ignore their tantrums and political rants. Just a suggestion.

I like to stir them up. Put my two cents out there.

It's quite interesting. I find it a good study of human behavior.

Hold my beer...watch this.

Many of my friends still seek out their safe spaces. Meanwhile, I am eating popcorn and drinking wine and enjoying the shit show.

Who let the dogs out? Roof. Yeah. We are not only talking about pets...but MAD DOGS. On some chaotic news of epic glory....Trump is nominating Mattis. I hope he gets an exception. I like the guy. I don't know him personally, but I like him for that job. I think part of that position is you have be super intelligent and up to date on military innards and outtards and all that jazz but also a bit ruthless. I think Mattis is a nice ruthless. He does it in a diplomatic hard stance way.

And the voter recount thingy? Nicccceeee. What a waste of millions of dollars. Could have done some real good for charity work. Isn't it funny how millions get thrown at stuff like that, but we can't get our own country out of poverty. Hmm...

I think I need some new shoes. Oh. Look. Macy's sale!

Still to this day, there is a division and it still gets fed by the media and accelerated to epic proportions. The anchors bring out their party colors and if studio materials weren't made well, I would expect to see things destroyed in tantrums, rage fits and throw downs, or pencil slamming.

Insert more popcorn.

Enjoy the show. This is free shit we don't get every day.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Faux News

The last few days have been interesting headline news. I have even gotten suckered in there at times. Some outlets have even included some fake news used for click baits and do not match the article or content of the problem. Isn't it funny how headlines grab your attention and affect our emotions instantly? We may or may not even read the article which may or may not match the title. Why is that? Because fake news and click baits generate advertisers and revenue and attention.

It's sad, really. How sad is it? It's just about as sad as when you say hello to someone in church and don't get a reply.

Ok. I have a tendency to let my smart ass leak out. Sorry. Back to the nitty gritty.

For instance, the articles going around about the Denver Sheriff's Department getting fined for not hiring illegal aliens. False. I even got sucked into that. It was because their wordage excluded legal residents who were not citizens of the US. It also included practices that the department ONLY considered US citizens. Big difference.

The military has a pathway to citizenship. Many foreign residents serve in the military.

Anyhoozle, back to the Homeland... so this language was considered discriminatory.

Ok. Stop the bus.

Most law enforcement organizations do not hire non-US citizens.  Why aren't those others fined? Because the language is different and they are codified. I bet the farm (and I don't even have one so it is a big gamble) that Colorado fixes their language. They will either change their hiring practices or change the laws on the books like the other states.

An excerpt from one of Caller links I shared: "More than 40 states have laws restricting non-citizens from being police officers, but Colorado is not one of them, a fact the Denver Sheriff's Department did not know, the Caller reported."

There are some that do hire non-US citizens. They are legal residents of the US and have a clearance to work here. Some are working on getting citizenship.

So what does this mean?

Many LEOs were under the assumption that no one can be a LEO unless they were a US citizen. That is true in many organizations and that is not against the federal law. Here is another case out of Oregon. 

So confusing, right? Not really.

Now back to the headline. Illegal aliens cannot be LEO in any state in the US. So some of the headlines out there were baiting people angrily toward the DOJ forcing Denver to hire illegal aliens. Not so. But...here's another thing...why in the world are you going to cripple an agency with fines? You couldn't just say...oh hey...this is against federal discrimination laws because of your language and you need to fix it. Ten hut ten hurry. You have a probationary period. And you have to go back and reach out to all those other applications you discarded and reevaluate the applicants. IF you refuse...then you will have the wrath of the federal government. Maybe that is what happened behind the scenes. We may never know. Or it might come out in sound bytes.

But the PoPo are being very "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" about it. They also cited they did not intentionally do this and were fixing it right away.

Nothing like the big clobber of government down on your head.

I know fines and sanctions are in place for a reason, but the criminal justice system needs to be reformed working together, not just by throwing a minnow out in a tank of whales and expecting them to figure it out. Let's work together. Get on the same page. Get some standards across the board. There are so many parameters all over the nation that no agency is the same. The rules are different. In some places you cannot exceed the age of 35 for application. Some have strict hiring processes. Some hire their buddies. Egads, Batman!

I have never understood why states don't work together for the professionalism of the career and standardize some things about hiring processes and lateral transfers. Slowly there are some rays of sunshine in this area, but it has taken decades. We all do the same job. Don't we want to do it best?

It doesn't mean police are going to spit out military base clones. Peace officers standards are generally the same in each state with little variances. Some agencies are super strict and some super lax in their maintenance, training, leadership development, and requirements. That's the meat and potatoes. Just having the basics isn't good enough. I call it UPKEEP.

You have to grow good LEOs.

It will be interesting to see how things pan out over the next few years and how much the federal government will try to impress upon the states for reformation.

It's a big task.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Be STEEL My Heart

Happy Veterans Day! Thank you for your service~ So much gratitude to all!

Captain's Log: (eek...fat face alert)

Captain Chaos

Day three of the Apocalypse and funny thing is I still have a job and I am still here in body, mind, and spirit. Lacking in the spirits category, however. They frown on me drinking at work.

I am sure all of you have seen some strange and bizarre behaviors from some angry Americans and others over the election. Hell, Mike Rowe even posted about licking a cat. Hilarious. I ranted about those ranting and melting down and then went silent because you can't reason with crazy. It just ain't going to happen.

Meanwhile, I laughed all the way to the bank where my 15 cents is still secure. I hope President-Elect Trump will make it grow. If not, I might give him permission to grab my pussy.

Perhaps I should get a cat before I extend that offer.

My computer screen has a big crack in it from me banging my head at the social media nonsense going around. It's like a train wreck. You can't look away. Several of my Democrat friends (yes, I have many) are posting a petition to demolish the electoral college. Now...hold the show. Didn't it work for Obama? Oh, no. Wait. He won the popular vote AND the electoral vote. See? It worked just perfect that time. But this is a 200 year old election way. We all knew going in it was this way and coming out...well, some got mad. Trump even said before the election, he didn't like the electoral vote way. It also worked for Bush, but maybe the Dems didn't like Al Gore as much as Hillary. I'm not sure which I would trust less. At least Al was not as slick and you could see him coming.

So change it? I don't know. It gives the people a voice. Make it more fair for our future? Sure, go ahead. But I don't want California or Florida to run the show and squish out the little guy it will. But whatever the people want. But you can't make it retroactive.

Let's talk about cops. If you are a user on the Faceplant...go to "Blue Blogs" and like it and follow all of us. Most are current cops. Don't think you can ambush us or target us for hate...we're right here. Come at me, bro!

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me. You, me, and Jesus.

Funny thing about that Jesus character.

So...I also consort with several atheists and agnostics. This one I have who was raised in a spiritual household after his alcoholic father became a born again Christian...has many doubts and some anger toward the Lord. I don't judge. I just listen.

Well, one day last week he was getting pretty full of himself and razzing me pretty good. I razz back, by the way. And then he got a little personal, so I got a lotta personal. I said, "I'm sorry you don't know me. I am a great person. But you don't take the time with your friends to get to know people."

He got a little irritated and threw back, "Bullshit. I'm sorry you don't know me. I'm sorry you don't know anything about mechanics. I'm sorry you don't know Heavy Metal..."

"I'm just sorry you don't know Jesus."

"What?" He looked truly surprised.

"I'm sorry you don't know Jesus. Not going to preach to you, of course, but such a shame. Maybe if you knew him, you wouldn't be so angry. Oh, snap! I said I wasn't going to preach. Psyche!"

Well, that shut him right up. I think I instilled some PTSD he had of his dad forcing him to go to church. Not sure where that train derailed but it sometimes happens. It's a personal choice.

I did apologize to the Lord for using him in a time of strange conversation, but I was serious about the statement even though it was a twisted moment of cracked humor.

Speaking of crack...well...sort of...

Here's a little throwback for you:

Diazepam and alcohol. It's a beautiful thing. Especially behind the wheel. Not once, but twice.

Slumped over the wheel. Engine running. Sample bottles of liquor strewn about the car. The question isn't the state of rest, but how IT got there. By IT, I mean the driver we were about to encounter.

She was thin, olive skinned, and in her 40s. Long scraggly hair, Ed Hardy knock off shirt, and sweats. Looking at her, she had a rough life. It wasn't kind to her. Weathered skin, bags under her eyes, yellowed teeth, bunions on her bare feet. Whoa. Am I describing myself? Snark intended. 

At one time she may have even been a pretty lady. But no longer. Again, is it me? Mirror, mirror...

When she poured out of the Dodge Durango, we could immediately tell she was stoned and drunk. And quite the character. Nasty. She agreed to do field sobriety maneuvers much to our surprise.

OFFICER BIG CHEESE: I am going to demonstrate the Walk and Turn. ..[and he did so]

IT: Ok. [swaying, stumbling in place, then standing still...like a statue...looking down at her feet]

BIG CHEESE: Do you understand?

IT: Yes.

BIG CHEESE : Go ahead and begin whenever you are ready.

And so she did. We walked around the entire block in Hitler high stepping action and back around again. Did we stop her? Hell to the NO! We needed a nice evening stroll and besides...what great video footage!

BIG CHEESE: Ok. Now, I am going to demonstrate the One Leg Stand....[and so he did]

IT: Yep.

BIG CHEESE: Do you understand?

IT: Yep. But I'm ambidextrous and it isn't a fair test.

ME: What?

IT: I'm ambidextrous so this test isn't fair to me. Do you know what ambidextrous means?

ME: [holding back a smile]Yes I do. I think it means you took drugs AND alcohol today before you got behind the wheel. Whether you took them both with your left hand or one in each hand is a mystery to me.

IT: No. [turning to Big Cheese] Do you know what ambidextrous means?

BIG CHEESE: It means you like Mexican food. Now go ahead and begin when you are ready.

IT: You guys are a bunch of Nazis.

ME: What?

IT: Nazis. Like Hitler. This is a Hitler test.

BIG CHEESE: I don't understand what you mean.

IT: Yeah. Hitler. Adolf Hitler. [raising her hands like the swan move in The Karate Kid]

ME: [looking at Big Cheese and shrugging my shoulders] This test is more like the swan from Karate Kid minus the wings...it would  be called the resting swan maneuver. Let me demonstrate.

And so BIG CHEESE and I demonstrated again. She had no clue. She was so stoned out of her head and stuck on Hitler and ambidextrous that she couldn't focus if she tried.

BIG CHEESE: Go ahead if you want to try the test. Whenever you are ready.

IT: [stepping with the left foot out and rotating in a circle, stepping out 6 inches each time.]

ME: What are you doing?

IT: Your test.

ME: Let me demonstrate again. You need to stand in one place, feet together, hands down at your side. Then raise one foot approximately 6 inches off the ground, point your toe, and count outloud. You will be doing this for 30 seconds. Do you understand?

IT: That's what I was doing.

ME: On what planet? I have no idea what that just was. With you...it's like we are world travelers...from Germany to Asia.

IT: You are mean. Hitler. Nazi...all of you. Even that kid...what is he 12. [referring to Lunch Money]

ME: [rolling eyes] He just turned 13.

BIG CHEESE: Do me a favor and turn around and look at that nice Blazer behind you.

IT: Why?

ME: He has some pretty bracelets, but wants to surprise you. So turn around.

IT: Oh, how neat. I like jewelry.

So she got arrested and started to whine about the cops being Nazis. On the way to jail she gave Big Cheese a voodoo curse. I told him it was probably real, because when we did the towing inventory on her vehicle, she had SECRET SOCIETY letters of acceptance and books on code and voodoo curses. I tole him he should heed her warning.

Because she had taken 20 Diazepam and drank who knows how much Vodka, Big Cheese took her to the ER. The place was packed. So...he left her with Security because she was like a wounded fly and not a flight risk. Besides...she did circles. He was to pick her up after 3-4 hours. During the examination waiting time...the security guards stepped away from the rubber room for a few moments...probably to fetch a donut. She escaped. Obtaining another car...she again hit the streets of Gotham City.

DISPATCH: Units...copy for an Accident with Injuries...appears the car is stuck into the bank wall and the driver is trying to run away.

Yep. Sure enough... she ran the car right into one of our bazillion banks. Just so happened to be mine.

ME: Well, you sure are ambidextrous, alright. We have a DUI for your left and right side.

IT: *blink*blink*

It wasn't the first night of double DUIs on the same person. We had three of them. The other two were bonded out by sober drivers and taken home. Then they got into their second vehicles and drove drunk again. It's becoming an epidemic. Pete and Repeat. Ambidextrous or something.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Paint Me Crazy

Hello, the house! Why do you guys stick around here? I've been pretty lackadaisical in posting random crazy thoughts to entertain your presence. I apologize.

Life has kind of taken over me and college life has totally consumed me, I am afraid.

Today I am on the Momster hit list with my child. Seems she thinks she can run the place and I took away her after school fun. She does not listen to me when I say ..."It is gone." I said that one week ago. So last week she has been sucking up to me and cleaning the house, right? I didn't even ask. She went above her normal chores. Today she wanted to "remind" me that she is staying after school with her friend on Tuesday and Thursday to lift weights and workout at the school gym. She claims she wants to be stronger for track in April. I believe this is just a social hour for teenagers as there are several teen buddies there. Why?  Because she has a nice garage gym at home. Paint me crazy.

Well, it took 1.6 seconds for her to turn right back into Satan after I told her, "No. You lost that privilege. That means for good. Perhaps you could make a permanent change in respecting your mom. We can revisit the idea next semester."

Wow. Satan threatened me with "her dad". I said, "Go ahead. He isn't here, is he? What will he say? Hmm...that you can workout at home? Why don't you try that."

So yeah. I guess at least the teenager battles continue to remain a constant in my household.

I fall in love with my dogs more and more so every day. Men...well, you know. I can't seem to meet the one who will treat me right and I am constantly a giver, attracted to takers.


Anyhoozle, this semester is almost over and I am on the verge of an anxiety attack from all the deadlines and big papers due soonly. Paint me crazy. Wait, didn't I say that already?

The election is upon us. Hope you all vote the way your informed decision takes you!

Happy Monday!

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Fairy Farts and Vampire Slayers

My friends are trying to figure out why an entire tribe of weirdos are globbing on to me lately which have resulted in some strange encounters of the 5th Kind. They think I need to be saged. I can't say I disagree with them. Right now I am slathered in garlic, fairy dust, and crosses to deflect evil and crazy. I am not sure it is working.

Friday was a trying day of different sorts as I was called back to the Ta-Ta doctor for an additional mammogram and ultrasound. So they showed me the problem which was a huge mass in my left side. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach and tried to fight back tears. What a pussy. I don't know why it hit me hard. I was there for four hours. After talking to the doctor they determined I had hundreds of cysts on my left side which were all benign. None on my right. This was true evidence that I have been abducted by aliens since one side was perfectly healthy. My right elbow is bad. My left elbow is perfect. My neck is broken and my lungs are only 80%. My left rotator cuff is shot and my right is perfect. And my butt is too big.

Oh, yes, we can blame it all on aliens.

In the end, the Ta-Tas are OK, but I have been instructed to cut down on coffee consumption. You may as well have told me to cut my fingers off or put me in a guillotine. Really. It's that bad. "Try  cutting back to 2 cups a day first, " he said. WHAT?!?

That's like telling a crack addict to snort soap.

Say some prayers for me. The vampires are working against me. Those blood suckers.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

The Patch

Well, we all survived the second debate debacle. I think. My ears might still be ringing. 

I only remember one line and it was a doozy...

Otherwise, it was all interruptions and distractions and avoidance of any real issues. I shut it off and watched Hannibal. 

Have you seen that series? It's old. And I missed it when it was new, so it is new to me. It is right in line with the books for the most part, so I am pleased as punch. 

Oh..I am sure it will damage me forever. So gruesome and detailed and creepy and predictable and surprising and gross and fun and dangerous and well...you get the picture. The actor who plays the younger Hannibal Lecter is brilliant. 

I have to give a shout out to The Russian Bear for sending me this cute thing: 
shit magnet patch
It is a shit magnet patch. I wear it with pride! (Well, on my backpack) It works! You probably read my last posts of craziness but now the shit still rolls my way. How do I make it stop? For example...

In other news, I am without trainer. I have cut all ties with Obi and that went down like a ball of flames. I am mourning the loss of a friend. He is not dead. He just isn't who I thought he was and so I have lost a person I called friend and laughed with and what not. He also helped me on the house. So...even though we all have skeletons, I can't live with his bones in the closet. He is not happy about all this, but I have brushed past the emptiness. I have to thank him for some things he did for me in boosting my confidence and helping me get close to my goals. He was a good trainer. Harsh at it may seem, there is a time to cut bait. 

I have a wonderful hippy dippy trippy friend who is HUGE into astrology and readings and psychics (only valid ones she says and not the kookoo birds). She blesses me with these little messages from time to time. She seems to be thinking of me when eruptions happen or really good fortune will come my way. Usually when she is going to forewarn me about something explosive, it is already too late. So...my hippy dippy friend posted this on her Facebook page for me and sent me a personal IM:

Astrology for this week: Now leading up to this Full Super Moon in Aries! Action packed with this "Hunters Moon". Very powerful energy playing out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Some of you have found that you were wrong about something when you were so SURE at the time you were right. This does not matter either way and does not serve you to worry over it, or to look back at it or to dwell upon it. You have realized a lot of the actions and even disruptions from others. Believing in someone that proved to be false, or a detriment to you or your life, this was part of your growth and souls journey in this lifetime. But there are many other tasks and lessons before you. Trust yourself and the ingrained knowledge and intuition inside of you to lead you onto better paths and new and enlightening experiences. Distance yourself from those who cause you confusion, disruption and pain. You cannot change them, only they can change through their own realizations and free will, not from anything you can say or do. They have their own path to follow and their own lessons to learn. Sometimes things that hurt you the most, teach you the greatest lessons of life. You'll need to look at your life from a different perspective. Today's energy is all about letting go so you can let in the divine. 

And strangely enough, I have talked to God a lot more in the last two weeks, attended some church, and prayed.  We have a new minister and he is great. It's not like I ever ignored God, but there are times I let things overshadow my faith and I just muddle through life.  My Momster ways take over the turmoil of my daughter's teens and I get wrapped up in studying, driving forward, working out, and fixing what I can. I don't know if that makes any sense.  It sounded good at the time it was formulated in my head. 

Life is never too short or quick or too busy for God. I should know that by now. People come into our lives for a reason or we are there in theirs for the same. God puts us there. 

Sometimes, I think he just needs to plop me in front of the wine and bread and leave me there for days...without people. Just a thought. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Magic Questions and a Debate-acle?

Yo yo yo!

Two would be a toy, and three is a Tommy hello.

Did you watch the VP debate? I actually was entertained. It was worth watching to me and I felt that Pence was outstanding which is surprising because I think he is articulate, but not always a fan of his Indiana decisions. He was prepared and really commanded the chatter, I thought. I still do not like any of the interruptions. Gah. What did you think? Who do you think won? Was there a winner?

The drama is over thus far for the evil that lurks out there. I am sure it will raise its ugly head again. Until then, I am going to slip back into some type of normalcy. My research project is proving to be quite interesting and I can't wait to work on it. I might be sick. Maybe I should check in to the health clinic. Hmm...

A big question out there floating The Net which comes up once in a while... is if it is appropriate for an officer to also be a model bordering on risque? Hmm. I don't judge women cops. Oh hell, yes I do.

I guess I don't know exactly how I feel about this except I can see problems arising with public awareness and also image issues with the department. Now...would I like to be that fit...oh yes sirree.

Some agencies might even have policies against it. I saw this over on Breach-Bang-Clear and thought I would throw it out there...

Photo credit: Breach-Bang-Clear

What do you think? Does it change your perspective or matter not? Oh, and if you like her, follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, or wherever...Jennifer Dawn. She is out of Texas.

In other news, my life has reached a bland diet of child, school, house stuff. I am just being a student. Not a great one, but a good one so far. Lots of work.

Bug is doing well in school and is almost done with the volleyball season.

It's average to middlin' around the Harry Potter House as we get ready for fall.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

The Presidential Debate Gave Me Butt Zits

Hello, mateys!

I have been remiss in paying attention to matters of writing. I apologize and I am here to get back on the wagon. Recently, my family buried a great man...my grandfather. He lived a long and happy life of 98 years and I can only find comfort in the fact he is with grandma again. I will greatly miss that man. He was the most honorable man on earth. No one could compare. NO ONE. I always hoped for a marriage and family such as the one my grandparents cherished because it was withstanding of time and full of all kinds of love. I'm not saying it was perfect, but dang near. Someday, perhaps I will have that wonderful match with someone. If not, I have dogs.

Here is my latest from the educational site: criminaljusticedegree.com and it might be a tad methodical and boring. You be the judge.

Getting to my grandpa's funeral within a half hour of its start and missing 24 hours of time with my family and his wake was utter hell. Thank you, Mother Nature, and United Airlines. Actually, I am giving you the finger. Returning was no fun either and not weather related. If I ever see the inside of O'Hare again, I am afraid I might curl up in the fetal position.

Now that I am in the groove and have figured out all nighters as a grad student, I can settle into a routine without panic. Somewhat. I still get anxiety over assignments but once they are completed, I feel relief. My research project is a little steep for my hill climb, but I will get it done. I should have chosen the flat easy route, but then that wouldn't be me.

Monday proved to be a pain in the ass. Watching the presidential debate gave me butt zits. Have you ever noticed they don't go away and take FOREVER to heal? Don't pick at your butt and certainly don't pop them. They linger. Kind of like the nasty thoughts and opinions I have on the debate. But I won't get into that. I'm sure you can decipher that all by yourselves.

I continue to boycott the NFL. Why? I'm not feeling it. I watch scores and that is about it. Maybe it had something to do with all the protests or maybe because watching football seems to be a waste of my time. I'd rather watch paint dry these days. Am I growing up or am I growing old? Who knows.

My workout plan is still on track, but my Obi is off to a foreign land for some business, so I am sad and alone for two whole weeks. Ice cream? Cake? No. Just kidding. I will stay on track, but surely will lose some muscle strength. Job security for him, right? Yes. I believe so. I kind of like the dude anyway.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Lessons Learnt

Lord, have mercy!


It is a miracle I have survived this week. I finished my assignments early. What do I mean by that? I mean that I didn't post them to Blackboard during my usual time. For example, they are due at midnight on Friday and by 6:30 PM on Wednesday. I mean to tell ya, I posted them suckers on Monday. Why? I have no idea. Maybe I am adulting and prioritizing my time. Or perhaps because I have a paper and book to read..due when? Oh, yeah. Next Monday and Friday on top of regular assignments, a research project, and a group research project. College ain't no joke.

I look around my classes and these whippersnappers got it down pat. Nothing phases them and they are all "A+" smarty pants. Stress of being a single mom and having a full time job? Nope. But they are going to school full time and working and whatever they do these days.

One minute, they are out of touch with reality and the next I am truly amazed by their critical thinking and working through problems. I have been enjoying all of them. In my classes, I think we have the cream of the crop.

Yes, this is my bastardinzing art work. Love it or hate it. 

And where is my Bug in all this mix? Melting down. I have left her to figure things out on her own with rides to volleyball practice, schoolwork, and chores. I have found I did too much and she is independently strong willed and bullheaded, but not functioning well in the self sufficient category. My heart strings get tugged, but then she acts like her dad and I get over it.

The tantrums, the disrespect, the snapper mouth. Mmmm. Yeah. It makes my blood boil. So much so I find I have to do a lot of "woosawing" so I am not going to jail for the beatings that go on in my head. If I so much as talked a "little" smidge of what she does to my parents? Uh no. My head would have been through a sheetrock wall. And back then we had wood paneling, so...yeah.

I am being tested. Not just in college.

And my mother skills are being overtaken by my street skills. Not good. Please grant me patience and wisdom during these trials.

On a great note, PoliceOne.com republished one of my articles from Uniform Stories and it is reaching another heated controversy with those haters and lovers of Fargo humor. Take a look see if you wish here. I have to thank many of my blue family for standing up for me when their friends on Facebook take it in a negative way. I really have some backup and I can't love them enough. It's OK if people disagree or even hate it. I just think they also don't get me, my humor, nor that it is my opinion with a little snark and sass. But hey...if it goes viral again...wheeehaw!

See...stress is not doing me good. I am wearing my bitch face often.
Actually, this was a road rage incident captured on camera...while driving but stopped in traffic.
Sue me. Do as I say not as I do. 

Thank you, Lord, for these lessons. Amen.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Blue Motion

It's a conversation which has started but isn't showing much progressive change. How do we improve racial tensions and the ever increasing uprising over law enforcement involvement with race and diversity? First, we can't fix things based upon false narratives. It becomes a disadvantage for each side if one has to admit to the falsies. (Not to be associated with fake boobs, although the words could be used interchangeably). But we all acknowledge there are problems, uprisings, and tension. As a counteraction to the disgruntlement, outbursts, protesting, and violence, we all should believe improvement has to be made.
Sad, but truly felt by LEOs

What are the police doing?

1. Police are getting more training and trying to filter back into community policing by building public trust through programs and events. Community policing has never gone away in law enforcement. They are just beefing up its importance and trying to add more substance to the concept. Additionally, they are using community partnerships to help build a bridge and gain public trust. When our department introduced this concept decades ago, they encouraged going back to some "walk beats" so officers could have face to face communication with neighbors and business owners to build community relationships and in turn be partners in intel information and combating crime.

2. Community volunteering has become more of policy and sponsorship rather than a suggestion. Many departments have affiliated themselves with Special Olympics, March of Dimes, United Way, and other non-profits. Cities are also hosting blue line sports events. In the past Shop With A Cop has been popular at Christmas time. A shocker to many is these programs have been in place for decades, but go virtually unnoticed until now when the media puts spotlight on them or agencies highlight the events. These interactions and "meshing"as I call it,  is still important and may continue taking shape again in one form or another and additionally through events, food drives, housing projects, neighborhood watch programs, community meetings, etc.

3. Public service announcements, social media campaigns, and marketing. Police is now a business. Before it was just a service branch of government. With the technology changing, police are joining the club and interacting on the interwebs and also various media outlets. Any way to get a positive message and transparency out there...they are doing.

4. More PIOs or public information officers are being filtered into the community for two-way conversations and discussions. The officer delivering announcements and trusted information-who brings the press releases is now a public figure and not just a company mouthpiece.

5. Image boosting through diversity hires, policy change, community partnerships, and transparency. The police are trying their best to build the gaps and gain trust through any means possible. Liaisons from various community groups and organizations become beneficial in connecting with citizens. Online sites and groups such as Humanizing the Badge, Uniform Stories, and The Thin Blue Line among others are putting the word out about inside knowledge and interworkings of cops. Cops are tweeting!

6. Citizen groups formed by friends and family such as "Back the Blue" campaigns,"Sea of Blue" Facebook groups, and "police gear or swag" to distribute to supporters.

7. Going back to the basics: How To Talk To People, Personal Delivery, Culture Sensitivity, and Interpersonal Communications.

8. Body Cameras. Welcome to Youtube where your worst moments are captured by police and released for public enjoyment. Or to counter a false claim. Or to vindicate a victim. Or for that simple thing of TRANSPARENCY that the public demands.

So that's not all, but that's some. My fingers are tired and I have to save them for my grad school papers. Can you think of things I haven't mentioned? What ideas and/or solutions do you think are needed?

Monday, September 12, 2016

Quirky Jerks

The title says it all for what you get in today's free episode of crazy. I have no words for myself today. It's like I short circuit from stress overload and this is what you get. You are most welcome!

Hey- piddle diddle,
The cat continues to fiddle.
My pancakes are burned on the griddle.
I think that's a John Denver song he sang to a riddle.
Cows can't jump over the moon,
Nor can dishes run away with utensils-so put away your spoon.
Suppose you could Photoshop those scenes in super dooper well.
But in the meantime, you should stop and read this for a spell.
I say, pause being silly and playing with your willy.
And sit for bit-maybe a while-damn sure with a smile.

Yep. I missed my calling-bastardizing Mother Goose and songwriters while making nonsensical poems.

My poem makes about as much sense as Hillary Clinton's illness issues. Does she just have the flu or a more serious form of manginitis?  That would the question. The media is going berserk over conspiracy theories. And we feed right into it.

In fact, we feed into everything the media spoon feeds to us.

Funny thing is we can't look away and the media can't do responsible reporting. It's a train wreck bound to happen in the middle of a playground.

Grad school gets better with time just like wine only not as enjoyable. Big projects are coming up fast and I am pretty much in panic mode from now until the end of semester. The good thing is so far I have A's in my classes so I hope I can keep up the efforts. And here we go with a group project....*shudder*. I have a good group so I think we will do well. I am mostly worried about keeping up with their level and speed. Go old girl! Go old girl!

Friday, September 9, 2016

Fools Rush In

Tally ho!

Needs for Fargo

After this week, I need to go into the mountains and have a spa retreat next to a hot springs resort with people pampering me like a princess. I can do it for free. In my mind. Gah.

Harry Potter Shorts-Not Clothing

Bug and I have decided the the bathtub/shower combo is just gross and not relaxing nor pleasant to take a soaker even if we Clorox each others gunk out of there beforehand. Plus it is narrow. I would really like a hot tub. THAT would be the bomb diggedty. I miss mine that I had at the River War Haus.

So...in lieu of that thought, I will be going home after work to hook myself up to the traction machine my insurance company paid for lock, stock, and barrel. Thank you, Anthem. My right arm is constantly numb or tingly and no bueno.

Uniform Stories is still on hold. I am not sure if I will be retained by the new company. If you feel like helping me out...please look up my stories and pass them around like a hot potato on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or rate, comment, or like. Here is the linky dink...

I thought for sure we were getting violated by the crash in the parlor but it was just Murphy trying to chase this guy through the window. Glass Stops Dog Like A Freight Train should be the headlines.

Yes, that is a black squirrel. 

5 Second News

Is anyone keeping up with the North Dakota pipeline protests and the treatment of the Native Americans? In their favor, the judge did rule. So let's see what happens. I saw some pics of the oil field gurus being quite physical. I have yet to determine how that got out of control. Seems they would have been less dumb to call in the sheriff right away just to stand by to keep the peace instead taking matters into their own hands. BUT...I don't know the whole story. Yet. I'm sure all the faux news outlets will keep us apprised.

In super short news...the bashing of Matt Lauer could be made into a book. Poor man. Everyone expects him to be perfect and throws sexist daggers and fear mongering words at him. Don't worry, Matt, I have a shield. I will send it to you.

And we all know by now that the American Olympians who cried wolf are going down like the Titanic. I have no words. Just disgust. The fools.

The election is coming! The election is coming! And wouldn't you know it...Gary Johnson is now under the gun for his blank stare-deer in the headlights response about Aleppo. Did you really think any candidate would be free from scrutiny? Say it isn't so.

Parting Words

Oh, fooled you. I am not leaving permanently. Just for the day.

You can't get that lucky. But then again...it's you who keeps coming back here.

It's Friday. Ahhhh. The weekend.

Be safe. Be alert. Stay vigilant.

And don't let me catch you on Youtube acting like a drunk uncle.

Friday, September 2, 2016

The Grey Man-Partners

It is no secret the man behind this series, J.L. Curtis is adorable and brilliant. In fact, I am pretty sure he has a Mensa card. I know what kind of car he drives and he definitely has a love for the west. Rightfully so. The west is awesome and a most desirable place.

So...speaking of awesome and desirable...so is being face first in his books. The Grey Man series is fresh and exciting with action, thrills, and good old-fashioned rugged cop stuff. And it is on the right side of the law. The bad guys get squashed...most of the time. Sometimes they are elusive and come back for revenge. 

Straight off of Amazon...here is a snip it from The Grey Man-Partners... "Texas Deputy Sheriff John Cronin and his granddaughter Jesse Miller have out-stubborned, out-fought, and out-lived every challenge life's thrown at them so far... But there are times when a little help is needed. 

Slowly recovering from being stabbed, John Cronin gets a tip from inside the very cartel that's hunted him, that plans are afoot to smuggle terrorists and missiles across the border. Meanwhile, Jesse and her husband Gunny Sgt. Miller are losing the battle with an administration and a military bureaucracy determined downsize the military by whatever means possible, and tie their hands regardless of the damage and danger to its own. 

The agencies responsible don't want to act if Cronin won't give up his confidential informant, but when word comes that the missiles and terrorists are landing, it's time to put a team together and handle things the old fashioned way..."

My review was a little snarky because Jim knows me and how to take my information..."The saga continues and doesn't lack thrills, suspense, and action. Partners includes more depth of the characters in real life as they muscle through some life changes along with the dangerous moments. You can't go wrong with any of the Grey Man series, but each one gets better and Partners goes deep into character development. One drawback...I think it is time for the sheriff to have a love interest...even if it is flippant or unrequited. Some woman needs to stir it up."

Here's the difference: Partners gets deep and more developed into the details of each character which is natural when you get to know someone. Now that we are attached...I think he best be working on number 5. 

Check out Curtis's masterpieces on Amazon. You won't be disappointed. 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Colleg e iz Hard

I literally feel myself melting down before I suck it up and put my big girl panties on. Week 2 of real college seems to get me in the anxiety wheel. Meanwhile, the makers of PoliceOne have purchased Uniform Stories and at this stage none of us know where that site is going to go and so we wait. I have no indication whether I am a keeper or a tosser at this point.

Late at night a few nights ago, I did receive a nice phone call from the owner of Uniform Stories and I thought it was pretty honorable and outstanding for him to call everyone individually. I will pass on what I think you all should know: he started the site as a labor of love trying to get the voice out on the uniform side and create an outlet to portray the side no one sees and to give insight to first responders of all types. He said he will continue to support law enforcement and all first responders and extended his thanks to all for what they do. He was very passionate and I was impressed by his love for people and doing a good thing. So there you have it.

Now...in the meantime, I am still here. My latest article on criminaljusticedegree.com  is here.  I do enjoy the site and I believe it has an abundance of useful information plus educational degree seeking opportunities. Please give the Facebook page some love if you will. I promise it won't blow up your feed and you will only be alerted with great educational pieces from moi and other writers. If you browse, you will see they don't post a lot of crazy and keep it clean and infrequent as not to harass any Facebook users. Now The Boogie Man FB page on the other hand is annoying. You're welcome.

What topics do you want to read about? Give me some suggestions.

Monday, August 22, 2016


Meanwhile in Fishers, Indiana....

Photo credit: Peter Kirkwood
This photo was captured by my friend on his daily run. Oopsy. Any theories on that sequence of events" LOL. BTW...the driver was unharmed, just old and embarrassed.

In between puddles of rain, we have little rays of sunshine here and there. This week is cooling down to low-mid 80s. Whew. Finally getting close to my optimal temperatures.

After my disastrous doctor's visit last week, I told Obi that my doctor told me I still need to lose 25-30 pounds. He said, "NO NO NO NO! Those charts are bullshit. You have a great body." Apparently, that did not make him happy. I also thanked him for being a nice, blind friend.

Controversy seems to still be plaguing Trump as now media outlets are reporting the Lousiana governor is upset at him for coming to the state. He had supposedly made an announcement for all candidates and the president to stay away while they render assistance to residents. I am not sure if that was a biased liberal outlet reporting those thoughts or if it is actually the truth. Time will tell. The reason behind the upset, as told to me, was that resources were wasted making sure Trump security was up to par and his safety was a distraction. I don't  know. All I know is the guy can't win. Plus all the social media is up in hype over him handing out some toys and Play-Doh. OMG. For one, as a parent, I would be happy to have something for my kiddos. He was also handing out necessities, but no one captured that.

What did Obama or Hillary do in Lousiana?


They haven't been there yet. However, I am sure they will learn from Trump's social media frenzy and be knee deep in mud so they don't get raked over the coals.

And luck of the Irish is not with several Notre Dame football players. Attacking the police? Shame.

It would nice if the world would stop being so mean to the PoPo.