|Fargo The Slut|
"Well, I didn't mean to look like a ho. However, it was New Year's Eve and people kind of look ho-ish on those events. Sometimes. And. Ok. Nevermind..."
"Mom! Be respected of yourself!"
"...except your mother who should never dress like a hoe. Or be a ho."
"Mom. This is not a good conversation. You shouldn't talk to your daughter like that."
"Like talking about hoes."
"They are great for gardening."
"Mom, you know what I mean."
She went back to putting her ear buds in and ignoring The Momster. Bug was sitting quietly in her seat for quite some distance (road miles) with her phone and headphones on listening to anything other than Eminem which I had blaring on the car stereo. Sometimes you just have to do it. You have to listen to Eminem. Actually, that urge happens to me a lot. He's one of my faves. Color me hip hop crazy.
I actually got to sing at the top of my lungs or shout out to a few songs. I think I made Eminem proud. Then...she reached over and turned down the music. I looked at her. She looked at me.
With her headphones on she shouted at me, "It's too loud. I can't hear my music."
Well...la tee dah.
It is all about the child.
I decided to get down at a lower volume and not harass her for touching the magic of my Marshall Mathers. While I'm in the groove, my daughter nonchalantly piped up...
Me (not paying full attention but still banging along) "Yeah?"
"What would you do if I suddenly decided to become a stripper?"
"What the? NO! I mean you can be anything you want to be. No! What the hell?"
"Ha. Gotcha. I got you."
If that was not enough, she wanted me to try harder on winning the lottery. Yep. Think about that one for a while. Kids. Do they ponder life questions just to get a reaction out of parents or do those mind channeling thoughts really linger in their brains? Never mind. I don't think I want an answer.
Sometimes I wonder if they are smarter than the average bear, Boo Boo.