It turns out that Earth is actually a funny farm (insane asylum for you PC folks) for the universe. I don't have any other explanations for the strange behavior we are experiencing in America nor seeing on national television.
Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?
Nuts! That won't work in this case, Rosie! We would just hop from one continent to the other and still be in the asylum. It would just be moving to different wards.
I think they put us on spin cycle to try to fling off the crazy. Like a centrifuge system where the shit flies off and sticks to the rim. It's really not the natural rotating of the earth like they tell you in science, but something called the "wash machine effect." Process failure, CPO.
What to do? What to do? I have noticed, however, the Earth is getting crazier. For reals.The mother ship keeps dropping off new subjects so the isolation method of housing us on the same planet for containment purposes is working for everyone else.
Damn you, aliens!