I am reviewing a new book by Jeremy DeConcini and sneak preview of a new Curtis novel. Oh, boy! Can you say fun summer reading on the porch? Yippee!
In the meantime, I have lots of news, but none to tell. Does that make sense? No. Probably not. So, for a reason of rummage sale, I was going through some things and found this...this old story...not the most upbeat or funny at all, but here you go...
He would be home in ten minutes. It was a school night. He was such a good boy, well actually- young man at 17, I guess. Both sons, actually. Well liked. Respectful. Good friends. Good kids. She waited for him to come home. His best friend was bringing him. They weren't far..just a few blocks.
I was directing traffic on a busy highway just 1/4 mile from her home. The traffic was crazy. No one stopped. The road was blocked off by fire trucks, ambulances, police cars. 5 different agencies. I was one of the supervisors but later the lieutenant showed up and took over. I volunteered to do traffic control. What was I thinking? Volunteer traffic control? I think I was suffering from some sort of delirium.
The first woman who tried to run over me really revved me up for the rest of the traffic direction. I stopped her.
I said, "What in the hell are you doing? I told you to stop!"
She said she was going anyway because it was a green light and she was "listening" to the traffic lights.
I told her where she could park that van and to turn around. I also told her the only thing she should listen to is the PoPo because I give tickets and the lights don't mean shit when I 'm standing in the intersection with a traffic vest, flashlight, and a blue suit...resembling a beacon in the night.
I was a bitch.
Customer number 1...pissed off.
My customer service went downhill. There are those days. Sometimes, we just can't be happy but maybe part of the word...snappy. There were a lot of sexual comments coming out of my mouth. I'm sure if there were lip readers in the traffic crowd...they got the hint.
Soon...I called for another cop to help with traffic. Lepreshawn showed up.
It went better, but peoples iz stupid and stubborn and think they had to do it their way. Pretty soon, more and more semis started showing up. It was after all, a highway and major thoroughfare.
My fave. They're big. Really big. Bigger than my JLO booty.
It was getting dark and the lieutenant came over to me and handed me his traffic cone thingy that goes on your flashlight. He told me the department paid good money for those "pieces of shit" and I should have it on my damn flashlight. Then he threw it at me and winked. Asshole. Not really. He was a good egg.
For some reason, I grabbed my heavy duty Mag Light. I have a $285, yes--$285-- new lightweight strobie LED charges in 90 seconds writes tickets turns on the sirens I think computes distance and calories consumed super dooper great flashlight.
It really doesn't do all those things, but it cost that much and it is a nice new bright light and not heavy. But for some reason I opted for the chubby metal one.
Pretty soon...here came along a van.
Lepreshawn was letting the left handers go through. I flashed my light, I waved my hands, I yelled.
He...the van driver... sorta slowed down...so I believed him...and then I turned my head.
That was a mistake. NEVER look away. I reconnected my neck twizzle stick just in time to hear Lepreshawn yell..."HE'S GOING TO HIT YOU! MOVE!"
So with a snap of my neck and gazelle like speed...I dodged just in time for him to run over my left foot. OOOhhhh... I was mad.
And of course, he kept going. But I had some physical skills and I ran up toward the front of the van.
I took my chubby flashlight and hit the top of his hood, dented it. Told him to stop. He stopped, then when I moved to go to his driver's side, he kept going.
|Maybe it would help if I did THIS!|
I hit the top of his hood again and told him to stop...dented it again. Nice one this time. He tried to run over me when I was now at the front of his van. I really hit the hood hard with my flashlight...big dent.
By now, I was at the driver's side window. I was thinking this one's going to jail. I squinted in the dark. I was yelling. He wouldn't roll down his window. Obviously he was scared of crazy women.
I squinted again to get a better look at him. Blue hair. He still wouldn't roll down the window. I just thought...fuck it, he's old. I waved him through. Lepreshawn was shocked. He said, "Why did you let him go?" I said, "I put three big dents in his hood to my one foot he ran over with no major injuries. I called it squares. "
Lepreshawn laughed his ass off.
What was I thinking? He should not have been driving and should have had intervention of the PoPo. But this was too crazy and I said fuck it. Chalk that one in the books as a historical moment. I hope he didn't kill anyone because then I would feel responsible.
Next...about 10 minutes later...big semi coming down the road. I had the light going, I waved, I was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN ROAD. How can you not see The Fargo, dumbass? I have a beacon and fairy dust and platinum blond hair.
Big truck did not appear to be stopping or even slowing down.
So, I jumped up and down and yelled, "You better fucking stop you fucking idiot! Fuck! Fuck!Fucking stop!"
Yeah, he heard me.
NOT. It was a semi. He didn't hear me and obviously was not into reading lips. He kept going. I told Lepreshawn this asshole was going to run me over. He turned around..."It's a fucking semi! What are you doing? I'll stop my traffic. Let him go!"
I told him, "Nope. It's me... and him. Chicken."
Lepreshawn called me a fucking idiot and told me to move out of the way. Nope.
It was me...and him.
And I'm the PoPo.
David and Goliath.
The semi kept coming and he stood his ground. I stood mine.
So, I did what any good cop would do and ran like hell just before I would have been highway hamburger. The breeze by my face was one that messed up my hairdo. Damn, that made me mad.
We were too short handed to bother with it. I just hoped the rest of the traffic didn't follow suit or we were hosed.
Man, Lepreshawn and I got a big FAIL for traffic control. Except, he had the nice side of the highway. No one tried to run him over. He said it was his red hair. Go figure. No one messes with a Ginger.
The lieutenant came over and told me to go to the one kid's house to tell the parents to get to the hospital. He handed me a piece of paper. I said, "Holy shit. I know these people. Am I going to the dead kid's house or the one that will make it?" He said the one that will make it. He didn't want to do it and neither did the night sergeant because their boys were friends and they needed to stay on scene. WTF? So the lowest friend on the totem pole gets to do it. My lucky day.
I left Lepreshawn to fend for himself by order of the lieutenant. He was worried to be alone and I was worried for him. I hoped when I returned, he would not have his lucky charms spread all over the highway.
I lead-footed it to the house.
When I got to the door, I rang the doorbell. The mom came to answer my ringing. The only family member I didn't know. Everything was off. Like in my head. I drew blanks and dry cotton mouth and I didn't want to be there. This is a part of the job that sucks dragon dicks.
I told her she and her husband needed to get to the hospital because their son had been in a bad crash. She freaked out and started to shake and freeze up. I said, "Ma'amm, he's alive. You need to get there."
She freaked even more and said, "He's alive? What does that mean? Does he have legs?"
UGH! Usually I am so articulate. What the fuck, Fargo! All I could think of was the other kid wasn't alive, so at least yours was? WTF?
Everything came out wrong. MORON. It didn't get any better. "Ma'am, it was a bad crash. He's in CT. He has all his legs." By then her husband came to the door and I repeated things, only better.
They were told there were other people hurt in the car. They were told their son was the driver. I just found myself staring at them. Them staring at me. It was a blinkfest. I asked the father if he was OK to drive or if not, I would be happy to take them. He said he could drive. He was shaking. Then...I thought..."What Would Jesus Do?"
He would beam them there like...RIGHT NOW. So I said, FUCK IT-to myself, not out loud.
"Get in your car. I am not supposed to do this, but I am going to give you a police escort. Stay on my ass but don't hit me." Oh, yeah. The chose of words were not flowing properly.
He understood. So we did it. I didn't drive all cop crazy but I got them there fast. And I let them park on the lawn. It was so busy at the ER. And we have two hospitals. So about the lawn. It's the hospital. Who cares, right? Oh, well. Police emergency. The valet moved it for them and didn't even give me the stink eye.
Once inside, the hospital rushed them in to see their son. They took them to the left. I stayed with a family friend and their daughter as only two were allowed to go back. They asked if there was anyone else hurt and I told them another boy was in the car with him. They didn't know that. So then they wondered who it was and which friend.
Gah. I want to come down with laryngitis like right now. Don't ask me any more questions!
Soon, the sliding doors opened for the fortieth time as I was in disbelief as to how many people, kids-teenagers, actually were in the ER. What in the world was going on? Then a man who couldn't breathe, then a lady who was pale and sweaty. Stayed away from her. Didn't want any of that. Sweat leaps if you get too close.
This was freaking chaos like no other.
Many people later, a lady walked in alone. She carried a stern look. The sister of the boy I was in "charge of" said she knew her. It was her brother's best friend's mother. Oh balls. I sorta knew what was next. They hung out all the time. Then it dawned on her that her son was in the wreck.
The mother went up to the desk and the nurse came right out and took her to the right. The girl asked me why she was taken to the right. I said because that direction was where the family rooms were and where really bad things happen. She knew.
People. Stop. Asking. Me. Questions.
Her dad came back out to talk to his family friend and his daughter. He looked relieved. He told them all that his son would make it. I was relieved to hear that as well. I stayed a few moments longer. Then I had to help with the crash scene. I told him I had to go back out on the street and if there was anything he needed, to call the police. He asked me about his son's friend. I shook my head. He said, "He didn't make it?" I said, "I'm really sorry. He didn't make it." He sobbed and gave me a hug. One of those hugs that they don't let go of you. I had to fight back tears. Well, that didn't work well.
Back at the scene, I helped another officer with the evidence and followed the wrecker with the SUV to evidence storage. In the secure evidence storage room...I packaged things up. Dispatch had handed me the deceased kid's photo and driver's license sheet. I attached it to the property receipt.
I stared at it. Officer "J" asked me what I was doing. I said, "He was a cute kid." J said, "Yeah. His poor mother."
She went in to the hospital stoic. She wasn't told anything before she arrived...just to get there. I'm not sure who told her or why she came alone. She knew when she turned right that her son didn't make it. She had been there before. It was all too familiar. Just a year ago she had buried her older son who died in a rollover accident as a passenger in a vehicle with a bunch of kids. Now she was saying goodbye to her youngest...and only son left. Her husband was out of town on a training for work. She didn't leave the hospital last night. She was kept for observation overnight.
In the evidence office, I touched the photo. I don't know why. I had pain in my heart for that mother. It's like when you watch a sad movie and you get wrapped up in the story line. The pain goes away, but you think about the movie.
I don't know how much a person can take until their heart breaks in half. That's what I kept thinking about with the kid's mother.
As I closed the vault on the evidence, it made an unusually loud noise. Or maybe we were just extra sensitive.
Then... the city went black. Lost all power. J and I stood in the darkness for a few moments and then entered the lighted hallway with the emergency generator noise echoing from the basement. We walked downstairs to the police garage and drove outside to tackle crime on the unlit streets...with heavy hearts. A few moments later, we were back in the groove with one more callus added to our thick skins.