My hippy friend told me that a psychic once told her that 70% of the people walking on earth have a deep dark side or are evil. If this is in fact, true, I have succeeded in meeting all 70%. It just attracts me.
Right now you are probably wondering why I have disappeared off the face of the earth. Where is Fargo? Why is she so quiet? School? Partly. I am channeling my inner turtle. I feel like a penis does when you put an ice cube on it mostly. At least that is what I imagine it would do because of physics. I have never seen one. A penis, I mean. I have seen lots of ice cubes.
I'm just inundated with other outside issues. The darkness sure follows me. In fact, I am such a shit magnet that I can't clean it off completely. I never get the dry easy to clean up kind. I get the sickly stankly and very sticky runny kind that strips paint off the wall.
For instance, what do you do when a person asks for your help? You go. Did I think I was going to be helping a woman dive into a child pornography and human trafficking world? Uh. No. I thought I was going to help her confirm her thoughts of several affairs from her significant other. Aliases, false passports, Asian prostitutes, child porn, and human trafficking. Fuck me in the ass. And writing these words will probably attract the feds to my door.
It brought all that heavy burdensome thoughts back. But what did I do? I helped her and I let her and this other women make the decision to go to the cops. I washed my hands after I gave my expert opinion and told them they could give the cops my information. But they keep contacting me about stuff and questions and I am like...dudes...I just want to study about cop burnout and public administration for Pete's sake. I am in the middle of a research project.
As for the cop work, the empathy, the burdens...I left all that behind. I am on to a new part of my life and it brought it all back for an instant. What's worse? I know these people and it sucks. On the back note, I did enjoy the hunt and the puzzles and searching for evidence and then I was like...DONE! There you go! Go forth and do! And I never want to see any of you again because...gah! I don't need that. No wonder people run away when they discover the evil in people they know. Gah! ack!
Yeah. It was worthy of a Stephen King movie. I have looked evil in the face many times. And this is it. Yes, I traveled miles packing heat for my protection to get involved in that fiasco. That was the fun part...driving fast, packing heat, avoiding PoPo detection.
That wasn't all. There were other personal issues arising with my lackluster love life that just wore me out. They were shocking as well but by then I was pretty over everything and washed my hands of getting too upset. It all came to a head and ended very sadly.
Men just don't realize I am a gift.
So here I am. Still single. Not giving a shit about things like that and moving forward with my goals and grad school and trying to be the best Momster I can be. Sounds fascinating right? Yep.
And tonight I have to write a huge paper and study on a pot of coffee, probably staying up until 0300. But...such is life.
Tomorrow is another day.